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part with me
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about me
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Alotta my pals say that I am pretty random, and i like to think out side of the box alot. Im pretty crazy but not in the straight jacket sorta way ya kno. I like to send letters to my friends cuz everyone likes to get real mail every once and a while. I also like to leave messages on answering machines. Those are a few joys in my life. Another joy in my life is my friends. They put happy into my life just being there. They are my favorite people and I would do anything for them. There are many other joys in my life such as my dog and writing. There are sum downs too but the good stuff makes up for it. Ya can't let the bad bring ya down too much bcuz then life gets a little harder everyday cuz its just bringin ya down. Movin on, Im kinda spastic and goofy and thats aways fun. I like to have fun and smile and have a good time. I'm never usually serious but sometimes I am when I write. Other than that, I usually am never serious cuz its just not me. It would just be weird. But hey I'm weird too and sponaneous so ya never know what to expect outta me I am just a firecracker that just never stops goin. Ya think the pop stops but no it keeps on goin. I can also be refered to as spark plug cuz i dunno i guess im sparky but okay. Thats about all the main stuff, you'll learn the rest in time.
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| this is your cue. smile. |
For the first time ever, I actually heard and felt my heart sink. Literally...I guess from being so excited, it just had higher grounds to plop from. I hate feelings I dont understand. I wish I was normal to a point where I wouldnt feel so different. I mean...all feelings seem to make me do is feel...and everytime I seem to feel...it never is too good. Most of my feelings have all failed me to a point where I am afraid to. I hide my feelings well...no one knows...and I know it. I hide because Im afraid but also want to be found...I run because I dont know what to do, I want to be caught eventually...Im just so contradictory..everything.
And Im too afraid to love...because no one loves in the same way as me. It's like a one way road...and cars pass me by and wave with sympathy as they just keep driving on...looking back every so often at the car getting smaller in the distance... I dont think i can be loved. It seems literally impossible. And im coming to believe it is naturally. There is no proof otherwise. Now just proves it...when you can hear/feel your heart sink and it is not just a metaphor anymore... its time to wonder if it's actually beating still. I mean really...living a metaphor...I never knew I would experience such a thing. This time..my heart took too big of a fall. And the pieces are all too small. I think it's finally had enough. My heart and I can only try so hard to be tough. I want to pack my backs and leave the place. But I cant seem to do so without missing your face. I wish so badly to run away... just far enough to be safe. Maybe I'll hibernate for a while. Pack with me my song and smile. I cant take this anymore... what was so wrong with what was before? Lost in the Sea of helpless feeling...ocean of emotion...maybe a wet hell My heart sank and drowned in my grief like the Titanic my ship is down SOS please come save me I cant swim, I cant swim... The body's numb and I cant swim. But I cant feel so whats to fear? Well it gets lonely at the bottom of the sea. Deep in the waters of emotion, right next to the sea of dreams, I am frantic in these waters of the ocean, and most doubts are actually what they seem Please wake me, let this all be a figment, the imagination does run wild... Steps are taken in cement, these foot prints will last for a while. And I hold my breath because it's getting harder to breathe, pressure letting in on this fragile chest cavity. Jenny at 3:37 AM
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