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part with me
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about me
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Alotta my pals say that I am pretty random, and i like to think out side of the box alot. Im pretty crazy but not in the straight jacket sorta way ya kno. I like to send letters to my friends cuz everyone likes to get real mail every once and a while. I also like to leave messages on answering machines. Those are a few joys in my life. Another joy in my life is my friends. They put happy into my life just being there. They are my favorite people and I would do anything for them. There are many other joys in my life such as my dog and writing. There are sum downs too but the good stuff makes up for it. Ya can't let the bad bring ya down too much bcuz then life gets a little harder everyday cuz its just bringin ya down. Movin on, Im kinda spastic and goofy and thats aways fun. I like to have fun and smile and have a good time. I'm never usually serious but sometimes I am when I write. Other than that, I usually am never serious cuz its just not me. It would just be weird. But hey I'm weird too and sponaneous so ya never know what to expect outta me I am just a firecracker that just never stops goin. Ya think the pop stops but no it keeps on goin. I can also be refered to as spark plug cuz i dunno i guess im sparky but okay. Thats about all the main stuff, you'll learn the rest in time.
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| her smiling eyes | ||
| this is your cue. smile. |
It's been a while since I had a nice icecream cone from the Twisted Cow. Anybody up for icecream?
It makes me sad that its been so long since my last icecream joy, and even sadder because something so minuscule such as this could make me so bummed. Other than that, I have been driving muchly lately. Ever since last Thursday, I've been rockin the big roads. Chyea...thats right...watch out for me...and my madre lol. One of my best friends Mike wants me to pick him up tomorrow. Time for me to show my skillz yo. Heh heh...buckle up dude... no Im just kidding. Im a really safe driver, except i cant resist killing refrigerators... So I am talking to the boy I recently brought up...and ya know...it's kinda weird. Here I am...trying to act like he's just my best friend...when I have more feelings for him than that. This is the boy that I pretty much fell in love with Freshman year...and loved him ever since then. I mean he freakin moved away the summer before sophmore year...and yet we still keep in touch...and I thought with seeing him less...maybe I could push away these hopeless feelings...but no. Everytime I see him, hear from him, touch him, I remember why I loved him in the first place. And you know, I really dont want to forget that. I dont want to forget how happy he makes me feel so easily, I dont want to forget all the poems I wrote about him...how I felt while writing them...I dont want to forget the WHOLE MEANING behind them. Sure, it's hard to remember...but it's just as hard to forget. It's like turning a sunset black and white...you miss the colors...you miss the beauty of it all. And I would miss the way he made me feel. I would miss noticing all the little innocent stares at me during math class, I would miss him getting into trouble just to make me laugh, I would miss him taking the blame so I wouldnt get detention, I would miss the time that I got a detention on my own and he would try to get one so I would have company, I miss him waiting for me after health and walking me to my next class, I miss him trying to trip me or shoving me into lockers just to see me get all mad and blush out of embarressment, I miss him letting me punch him after he would kick me in the shin a little too hard, I miss the staring contests, the hugs, the smiles, whatever we had...I dont know what exactly it was...but everyone noticed it. Everyone saw how he treated me differently than other girls, everyone saw this unique click between us...something was there...I dont know what it was...but I wasnt the only one who thought it...which was reassuring, but also helpless. Ughh...im such a loser. But I need to write these things...Im afraid if I dont write things down, later on I may not remember them as easily. And I would hate to not remember and therefore come to believe love, feelings, occasions...didnt even exist... I couldnt let that happen. So I write about them. Though sometimes I believe I am a loser for writing poems about people and things, I know Im not. It comes to show how much these people or things really mean to me when I write about them. I mean, think about it, if someone writes you something...that must mean that you are on their mind...and you've made such an impact on them that you move them to poetry. And the wonderful feelings turn into beautiful words...and everything just comes together to make a meaningful whole. And thats what I do. Some people mean so much to me, that I just have to write about them because when feelings transition to words...well thats a rare occasion...and those words left unsaid...would just be like a mute wanting to tell their loved one they loved them...with their own unique voice. And sometimes I dont know how to tell people these things...sometimes Im too shy...so I write them down in a poem with hopes that maybe I'll have the courage to give it to them someday. I still have mail waiting to be sent for Mike...its this poem I wrote him after I found out he was really moving away...when it finally kicked into me that he is going to be in a whole other time zone...so far... Left BehindUgh...any poems I put on here...the more and more I feel like a lame ass. Im a freakin hopeless romantic...I feel all stupid mooshy and gooey and lame. Grrr...I hate when all these feelings and poems are just that...feelings and poems...just sitting there...nobody to appreciate them. Well...the ones I write to certain people may be appreciated but I dont know...GOSH I hate admiting I have mooshy-ness in me...I hate getting attached. Haha and now im talking to another old flame...one that I really liked but I guess not enough to have the feelings return now. I sent him a friendly im only expecting to exchange a few words...but now we are having a lil conversation. It nice...just a bit weird because its been a while. I would like to see him now...see how he's changed. Meh...meh...I dont know what else to say...my mind has completely gone dry. All that is left is love. I love you. So much that infinity would even put a limit to it. So I conclude with saying more and more each and every day. Because that's all I can do...love. With all my heart. But I dont mind. I love...you. Chyea...thats right...goodnight Jenny at 9:33 PM
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