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part with me
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about me
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Alotta my pals say that I am pretty random, and i like to think out side of the box alot. Im pretty crazy but not in the straight jacket sorta way ya kno. I like to send letters to my friends cuz everyone likes to get real mail every once and a while. I also like to leave messages on answering machines. Those are a few joys in my life. Another joy in my life is my friends. They put happy into my life just being there. They are my favorite people and I would do anything for them. There are many other joys in my life such as my dog and writing. There are sum downs too but the good stuff makes up for it. Ya can't let the bad bring ya down too much bcuz then life gets a little harder everyday cuz its just bringin ya down. Movin on, Im kinda spastic and goofy and thats aways fun. I like to have fun and smile and have a good time. I'm never usually serious but sometimes I am when I write. Other than that, I usually am never serious cuz its just not me. It would just be weird. But hey I'm weird too and sponaneous so ya never know what to expect outta me I am just a firecracker that just never stops goin. Ya think the pop stops but no it keeps on goin. I can also be refered to as spark plug cuz i dunno i guess im sparky but okay. Thats about all the main stuff, you'll learn the rest in time.
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Journal sites have offically pissed me off. And im not in the mood to not have my enter key NOT ENTER and instead click me out of my text box and go else where... but it is! Dammit. So I just keep fucking typing cuz I cant make paragraphs or anything. Don't you hate when people lie to you? Just like lie about how they are feeling...cover it up with a fake smile...just put on a show for you so that no questions are asked, no inquiries are made, and somehow both are left with some contentment knowing just that. One hearing the other is "ok" and the other knowing their friend doesnt know the troubles they see. But it doesnt fucking work when your best friends with the little shit and you know somethings wrong and they write it in their Xanga about how they are bummed and shit. Then I go an ask them casually how they are doing and they say 'fine' but they aren't. And they lie thinkin i'll be content with that answer but it doesnt work when its not true. Fucking boys and having so much in common with me that im getting mad at them for something I do too. Just put on a happy face and there will be no questions asked. But you know...people who care a hell of a lot about you do ask because they know somethings up. And what fucking hurts more is because its over this girl who is crushing his heart and he's a fucking great guy that I cant fucking seem to get over and he's just taking the blows because he really likes her. And to know when somethings up with your best friend and lingering crush, it really pisses me off. It hurts me to see him hurt and here he is attempting to be all macho talking less because if he were to talk more, something would prolly slip out. For goodness sake if his feelings could ever reach his lips. He's only here during summer and he has to fucking bullshit me. Even if he doesnt want to tell me what the hell is up, he could atleast admit he's bummed about something. I get so mad because it's like fighting with myself...how can two people be so alike to where I seem to be suffering from my own bad habits. Trying to pretend Im okay...bottling everything up...acting...how the hell do people get things out of me? Im thinkin maybe if I talked to him in person, like pulled him aside and had some one on one convo with him, maybe he'd open up. Fuck boyfriend/girlfriend relationships...he's my best friend first, and thats that. Nothing can take that away. I may still like him, but that's ok. Theres not many boys out there like him. And I still cant make fucking paragraphs.
Jenny at 2:14 PM
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