Her Smiling Eyes

Sunday, August 29, 2004

So this is what it feels like.

I woke up today about hmm 1pm. And yes, it did feel wonderful thank you lol. I talked to Erin and she asked if I wanted to go thrifting. Sounds great to me since I am not able to see the wonderful Erbear as often as I wish.

I eat my eggie sammich and take a shower and get dressed. I couldnt find my hat so I freaked out but then Er was like ahh just dont wear it, the hair looks nice. So I said ok. And I didnt wear it. I felt very incomplete tho lol. I kept thinking i left it somewhere...or I lost it...someone took it, ect...there was just this seperation anxiety. That hat has become a part of me.

We went to the thrift store in waukeganish gurnee..and memories came a flyin. I lived around there. You go up the road, take a right at the stop light...go down the street and take a left if i can remember correctly...then take a right and like...my house...the one I spent half my life in...my childhood...my first home. And where we were...near the handy andy...my dad and I would go there to get stuff. I used to go by the thrift store all the time and think it was the "Theft store". Once I even asked my ma if you go there just to steal. The memories...took me aback.

I got a teeshirt since I couldnt use the 45 dollars in my pocket...that goes for my button down awesomeshirts I have yet to get...blasted...I might flippin apply there, pray to get the job..buy the flippin shirts myself and then fucking quit. Hot damn I just want those nifty shirts...

Then we went to Target. Our plan was to get a package of Hanes tee's so that we could put iron on's on them. So we got the tees after looking around a lot. We tried on loads of sunglasses and i turned all JLO for a second with a pair i found. We go to check out and like the chick rings up the shirt and puts them in the bag. Then she's giving the change back and Erin's like...ugh, yea...wheres my bag??? And the chick is like, oh..didnt I give it to you? Now Erin was looking to get her change back, I was looking at my stuff to make sure it wasnt gonna get confused with the guy behind me and his crap...and also the mmmm gum I bought. Plus, we were kinda assuming the lady knew what she was doing and like giving the bag to the rightful owner ya know? Well, someone walked off with the bag.

So she turns on her flashing "Save Our Sale" sign and Erin and I start chanting "Save Our Shirts" because you know..thats all that matters to us...the shirts...not the sale...she already paid. Finally, this lady comes up and is just like "Oh, just go back and get another package of shirts." Luckily there was one more XL boys package left. We got that one and then left. Lame ass.

Guess who is parked next to us? Caitlin Badger!!! Whoa neat! Its been like forever since I last seen her. We all talked for a bit and that was insanely cool. As we were driving off and on our way to Starbucks, Erin was like "Wonder if Caitlin and Sean are still going out because they were a rockin couple." and what do you know? Sean drives by and Im like dude, there's Sean. And so we are tryin to yell out the window "hi" then forget about it lol. We are some wack ass kids lol.

We get to Starbucks and I get a mocha frappichino. Wow good. I believe I handled my caffine well lol. Then I stuck my head out the window...she partially closed it on me and freaked me and my neck out lol. Went back to her house and printed out some Napoleon Dynomite iron ons. Yea...you wish you were that incredibly cool. One of mine has Napoleon doing his dance routine for Pedro's speech, and the other is of him drinking Gatorade. Then we made one for Manda in hopes it would cheer her up and make her well again. You will have to find out hers for yourself tho (teeshirt day is Tuesday guys! Rock it!).

We printed them while watching about the saddest HBO special on life in the middle east. More on that in the next entry. This one is happy. We ironed on the iron on's and then had s'getti. It was very good and we had a nice dinner time conversation full of giggles. Then we called Manda to see if she was home so that we could stop by. She was so we got all ready and were on our way. We sang along to many a songs on the way. Like the orgasm song lol. We sang along to it all satanic screaming style twice and the second time around, twisted it up a bit at the end with a dash of opera. It was most highly amusing by far! I almost wet myself like a total of 3 times I was laughin so hard. It was one of those times where you think about what you are doing and realize how awesome you feel. It was one of those moments that I know I'll look back on and just be like wow...my friends and I are so kick ass.

Then we got to the Peters and it was so nice to see Manda. I really really missed her Friday so it was really happy seeing her this evening. We gave her her shirt and I think she liked it =) Manda, Sean, Erin, and I just all hung out and chatted for a while. We laughed a whole lot, man today was the day to laugh. No joke dude everything was so flippin funny and happy today. And like the things we were talking about were so hilarious! The idea came up about what it would be like if I were ever on drugs and wow...that idea alone is funny...but to see them impersonating me if I were to be on drugs...it's about the most amusing thing I have ever seen in my life. Just like each of their different views on how I might act and what I might do, I honestly fell over laughing. Literally, laughter consumed my body and I just kinda went limp and fell right over as I watched Sean lick and hump the wall convulsively. The scary thing was, I dont even know if I would do that or not...so I couldnt really deny it because you just never know with me. It was just hilarious watchin them do it...wow if I could see things like that everyday...

Manda said that she would like somehow get us all hyped up on whatever and then tape it...then later...when we all get back to normal (whatever that may be lol), she'd show it to us and laugh. Funny thing is, I would probably be just as amused watching that...I most likely wouldnt even need drugs or anything to get that insane or whatev. We decided that me on speed would prolly cause my heart to beat like 400 beats a minute and I would probably just die lol. Either that or have the ability to actually like run up walls with all the energy I would contain. Shit, I havent even tried Red Bull yet...lets take it down a notch lol. I would like to live.

It was funny, I was telling them all a story about how I was tryin to syncronize my blinking to a security camera at Long John Silvers. And near the end of the story I kinda lost my train of thought and was spacing out into a big candle... It was so great because they were all staring at me...waiting for me to finish...and I was just kinda in my own little world. Then I realized they were staring at me staring at big candle. It was funny because I guess that happens often lol. I'll just be talking and just kinda stop and not really realize it because I dunno.

We started talkin about video games and I offered to bring over my system. So Erin and I left and then Erin went to her thing and I got my XBOX. Then my ma wouldnt let me walk back. Rain supposably can harm me nowadays.

I get there and we are tryin to hook up the XBOX to the TV. Sean lifts the TV as we try to figure out where the cords go. We decide that the back works because thats where you can color code the cords. So we put them back there. So I have one corner of the TV, Sean is holding the majority of it, and Manda has the other corner and is putting the cords in. The situation, incredibly funny considering we are taking a group effort to get this to work. That being, holding a big tv and color coding cords like in Armageddon. So Manda gets the cords in and we see that it is working. We get so excited we nearly drop the TV and then we freak out and lift it to put it back, forgetting to remember that Manda's arm is still back there. She was like, guys! My arm! and then we were like Oh my gosh! and we pull the TV away so we can make sure her arm is out THEN we put it back in lol.

We play Tony Hawk 3 first and Sean makes his own skater named 'el DEEABLOW' lols. Way to sound it out dude haha. He had green dreadlocks, a green beard, green kneepads, purple glasses, a tiedye shirt, spandex, and flippin clown shoes. Chyea, that was one eye catching skater lol. Lets not forget his argyll socks...dont ask how I rememeber the socks..my skater just has them too and I dont know...I just remembered. I know...I sounded really pathetic saying "Its not diamond socks..they're arygll. " I still dont know how I know that. I just remember weird things.

We played that and laughed so hard at the craziest stuff. We played this two player slapping game where the main objective is to slap the other player more than they slap you while skating...amazing lol. It was so awesome, I would love to do that in real life. Some parking lot in the middle of nowhere...on skateboards slapping each other...simply amazing. It's also amazing how many times the skaters fall on their heads...some how they get up and do it again seconds later lol. I think the loss of braincells have a lot to do with that.

But yea, we just messed around with the game and killed our skaters alot...and laughed our asses off lol. Which made me come to the conclusion that today was the day with the most laughs, hardest laughs, and longest laughs. I had such an awesome time hangin out with Manda and Sean this evening. It was such a happy time and goodness oozed throughout the evening. Manda made me a rootbeer float and it made me really happy and it was uber wonderful because she made it. Just seeing her made me really happy. I was relieved to see she was feeling better-ish than before an able to laugh and smile =) It was such a nice night, I was even friendly to Ben, whom I found dislikes me more than I dislike him lol. I was really trying tho. I want to befriend Ben. I think he's more interested in finding a way to eat me. Hmm...must devise a plan to make peace treaty with kitty...must put that on "Honeydew list"...

We played video games for a long while and I just remembered how messed up this one Japanese game is. If you play it for the first time or havent played it in a while...it's a trip dude...seriously. All the colors and all the crazy ass music...the weird dialogue and sounds...it's enough to make you think you're on drugs. Japanese animation, freaky techno, everybody dancing, a mix of japanese and english speakin pedestrians, flouresent colors and the ability to flippin grind up telephone polls at any given time...chyea...it's messed up like you would not believe. They made a song about making cake. WTF mate? But there is this one chick that you can run into and she says "God dammit" with absolutely no expression of anger or anything. Fun thing to do: hit pedestrians, launch yourself off high places, knock shit over lol.

Lastly we played Spiderman. I beat the game so there are all these levels that you can just go to and mess around in. Like my favorite level, the most damn freakin stressful level of the game...once beaten...kicks so much ass! You can lift up like lazy boy chairs...hide in the dark..then CHUCK THEM AT SECURITY GUYS!! HAha they freakin launch across the room!! It's so awesome!! Or you like web them and fling 'em around the room for amusement! Chyea...thats what I do on my spare time lol.

Overall, it was a very lovely day =D I can actually say that today I was truly happy. It was so great being able to hang out with Erin again and just wow, we have the greatest of times together. I just come back to life. My batteries become recharged and life begins again. I become alive and happy once more and laughter is a sound that is ringing in my ears. I hardly have any voice left due to the satanic screaming, opera, laughter, terets shouting amazingness of today. I sound all squeeky and weird cuz my voice is barely there lol. But its so worth it because it reminds me of how happy I was all day today. It reminds me of how much I laughed to help cause this lack of voice...it reminds me of the good in life.

I love you a whole bunch. You make my day, week, life...so much better and more worthwhile...you make me so happy, it's immeasureable. Anyone could say infinity to give an idea of all the good feelings that come about...but even that would put a limit to how incredibly happy I am around you. And I love you all the more. They call love 'amore' because there always is a-more...eh. There is just no limit to these things.

Today reminded me of summer. I am genuinely happy. Thank you, for being you, and having that unique ability of making me smile with let alone your presence, then it multiplies when we talk.

So this is what it feels like, to be truly happy. I must remember...times like these dont come around often enough...please dont forget, self...remember.

Jenny at 1:26 AM

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her smiling eyes
this is your cue. smile.
Sunday, August 29, 2004 So this is what it feels like. I woke up today about hmm 1pm. And yes, it did feel wonderful thank you lol. I talked to Erin and she asked if I wanted to go thrifting. Sounds great to me since I am not able to see the wonderful Erbear as often as I wish. I eat my eggie sammich and take a shower and get dressed. I couldnt find my hat so I freaked out but then Er was like ahh just dont wear it, the hair looks nice. So I said ok. And I didnt wear it. I felt very incomplete tho lol. I kept thinking i left it somewhere...or I lost it...someone took it, ect...there was just this seperation anxiety. That hat has become a part of me. We went to the thrift store in waukeganish gurnee..and memories came a flyin. I lived around there. You go up the road, take a right at the stop light...go down the street and take a left if i can remember correctly...then take a right and like...my house...the one I spent half my life in...my childhood...my first home. And where we were...near the handy andy...my dad and I would go there to get stuff. I used to go by the thrift store all the time and think it was the "Theft store". Once I even asked my ma if you go there just to steal. The memories...took me aback. I got a teeshirt since I couldnt use the 45 dollars in my pocket...that goes for my button down awesomeshirts I have yet to get...blasted...I might flippin apply there, pray to get the job..buy the flippin shirts myself and then fucking quit. Hot damn I just want those nifty shirts... Then we went to Target. Our plan was to get a package of Hanes tee's so that we could put iron on's on them. So we got the tees after looking around a lot. We tried on loads of sunglasses and i turned all JLO for a second with a pair i found. We go to check out and like the chick rings up the shirt and puts them in the bag. Then she's giving the change back and Erin's like...ugh, yea...wheres my bag??? And the chick is like, oh..didnt I give it to you? Now Erin was looking to get her change back, I was looking at my stuff to make sure it wasnt gonna get confused with the guy behind me and his crap...and also the mmmm gum I bought. Plus, we were kinda assuming the lady knew what she was doing and like giving the bag to the rightful owner ya know? Well, someone walked off with the bag. So she turns on her flashing "Save Our Sale" sign and Erin and I start chanting "Save Our Shirts" because you know..thats all that matters to us...the shirts...not the sale...she already paid. Finally, this lady comes up and is just like "Oh, just go back and get another package of shirts." Luckily there was one more XL boys package left. We got that one and then left. Lame ass. Guess who is parked next to us? Caitlin Badger!!! Whoa neat! Its been like forever since I last seen her. We all talked for a bit and that was insanely cool. As we were driving off and on our way to Starbucks, Erin was like "Wonder if Caitlin and Sean are still going out because they were a rockin couple." and what do you know? Sean drives by and Im like dude, there's Sean. And so we are tryin to yell out the window "hi" then forget about it lol. We are some wack ass kids lol. We get to Starbucks and I get a mocha frappichino. Wow good. I believe I handled my caffine well lol. Then I stuck my head out the window...she partially closed it on me and freaked me and my neck out lol. Went back to her house and printed out some Napoleon Dynomite iron ons. Yea...you wish you were that incredibly cool. One of mine has Napoleon doing his dance routine for Pedro's speech, and the other is of him drinking Gatorade. Then we made one for Manda in hopes it would cheer her up and make her well again. You will have to find out hers for yourself tho (teeshirt day is Tuesday guys! Rock it!). We printed them while watching about the saddest HBO special on life in the middle east. More on that in the next entry. This one is happy. We ironed on the iron on's and then had s'getti. It was very good and we had a nice dinner time conversation full of giggles. Then we called Manda to see if she was home so that we could stop by. She was so we got all ready and were on our way. We sang along to many a songs on the way. Like the orgasm song lol. We sang along to it all satanic screaming style twice and the second time around, twisted it up a bit at the end with a dash of opera. It was most highly amusing by far! I almost wet myself like a total of 3 times I was laughin so hard. It was one of those times where you think about what you are doing and realize how awesome you feel. It was one of those moments that I know I'll look back on and just be like wow...my friends and I are so kick ass. Then we got to the Peters and it was so nice to see Manda. I really really missed her Friday so it was really happy seeing her this evening. We gave her her shirt and I think she liked it =) Manda, Sean, Erin, and I just all hung out and chatted for a while. We laughed a whole lot, man today was the day to laugh. No joke dude everything was so flippin funny and happy today. And like the things we were talking about were so hilarious! The idea came up about what it would be like if I were ever on drugs and wow...that idea alone is funny...but to see them impersonating me if I were to be on drugs...it's about the most amusing thing I have ever seen in my life. Just like each of their different views on how I might act and what I might do, I honestly fell over laughing. Literally, laughter consumed my body and I just kinda went limp and fell right over as I watched Sean lick and hump the wall convulsively. The scary thing was, I dont even know if I would do that or not...so I couldnt really deny it because you just never know with me. It was just hilarious watchin them do it...wow if I could see things like that everyday... Manda said that she would like somehow get us all hyped up on whatever and then tape it...then later...when we all get back to normal (whatever that may be lol), she'd show it to us and laugh. Funny thing is, I would probably be just as amused watching that...I most likely wouldnt even need drugs or anything to get that insane or whatev. We decided that me on speed would prolly cause my heart to beat like 400 beats a minute and I would probably just die lol. Either that or have the ability to actually like run up walls with all the energy I would contain. Shit, I havent even tried Red Bull yet...lets take it down a notch lol. I would like to live. It was funny, I was telling them all a story about how I was tryin to syncronize my blinking to a security camera at Long John Silvers. And near the end of the story I kinda lost my train of thought and was spacing out into a big candle... It was so great because they were all staring at me...waiting for me to finish...and I was just kinda in my own little world. Then I realized they were staring at me staring at big candle. It was funny because I guess that happens often lol. I'll just be talking and just kinda stop and not really realize it because I dunno. We started talkin about video games and I offered to bring over my system. So Erin and I left and then Erin went to her thing and I got my XBOX. Then my ma wouldnt let me walk back. Rain supposably can harm me nowadays. I get there and we are tryin to hook up the XBOX to the TV. Sean lifts the TV as we try to figure out where the cords go. We decide that the back works because thats where you can color code the cords. So we put them back there. So I have one corner of the TV, Sean is holding the majority of it, and Manda has the other corner and is putting the cords in. The situation, incredibly funny considering we are taking a group effort to get this to work. That being, holding a big tv and color coding cords like in Armageddon. So Manda gets the cords in and we see that it is working. We get so excited we nearly drop the TV and then we freak out and lift it to put it back, forgetting to remember that Manda's arm is still back there. She was like, guys! My arm! and then we were like Oh my gosh! and we pull the TV away so we can make sure her arm is out THEN we put it back in lol. We play Tony Hawk 3 first and Sean makes his own skater named 'el DEEABLOW' lols. Way to sound it out dude haha. He had green dreadlocks, a green beard, green kneepads, purple glasses, a tiedye shirt, spandex, and flippin clown shoes. Chyea, that was one eye catching skater lol. Lets not forget his argyll socks...dont ask how I rememeber the socks..my skater just has them too and I dont know...I just remembered. I know...I sounded really pathetic saying "Its not diamond socks..they're arygll. " I still dont know how I know that. I just remember weird things. We played that and laughed so hard at the craziest stuff. We played this two player slapping game where the main objective is to slap the other player more than they slap you while skating...amazing lol. It was so awesome, I would love to do that in real life. Some parking lot in the middle of nowhere...on skateboards slapping each other...simply amazing. It's also amazing how many times the skaters fall on their heads...some how they get up and do it again seconds later lol. I think the loss of braincells have a lot to do with that. But yea, we just messed around with the game and killed our skaters alot...and laughed our asses off lol. Which made me come to the conclusion that today was the day with the most laughs, hardest laughs, and longest laughs. I had such an awesome time hangin out with Manda and Sean this evening. It was such a happy time and goodness oozed throughout the evening. Manda made me a rootbeer float and it made me really happy and it was uber wonderful because she made it. Just seeing her made me really happy. I was relieved to see she was feeling better-ish than before an able to laugh and smile =) It was such a nice night, I was even friendly to Ben, whom I found dislikes me more than I dislike him lol. I was really trying tho. I want to befriend Ben. I think he's more interested in finding a way to eat me. Hmm...must devise a plan to make peace treaty with kitty...must put that on "Honeydew list"... We played video games for a long while and I just remembered how messed up this one Japanese game is. If you play it for the first time or havent played it in a while...it's a trip dude...seriously. All the colors and all the crazy ass music...the weird dialogue and sounds...it's enough to make you think you're on drugs. Japanese animation, freaky techno, everybody dancing, a mix of japanese and english speakin pedestrians, flouresent colors and the ability to flippin grind up telephone polls at any given time...chyea...it's messed up like you would not believe. They made a song about making cake. WTF mate? But there is this one chick that you can run into and she says "God dammit" with absolutely no expression of anger or anything. Fun thing to do: hit pedestrians, launch yourself off high places, knock shit over lol. Lastly we played Spiderman. I beat the game so there are all these levels that you can just go to and mess around in. Like my favorite level, the most damn freakin stressful level of the game...once beaten...kicks so much ass! You can lift up like lazy boy chairs...hide in the dark..then CHUCK THEM AT SECURITY GUYS!! HAha they freakin launch across the room!! It's so awesome!! Or you like web them and fling 'em around the room for amusement! Chyea...thats what I do on my spare time lol. Overall, it was a very lovely day =D I can actually say that today I was truly happy. It was so great being able to hang out with Erin again and just wow, we have the greatest of times together. I just come back to life. My batteries become recharged and life begins again. I become alive and happy once more and laughter is a sound that is ringing in my ears. I hardly have any voice left due to the satanic screaming, opera, laughter, terets shouting amazingness of today. I sound all squeeky and weird cuz my voice is barely there lol. But its so worth it because it reminds me of how happy I was all day today. It reminds me of how much I laughed to help cause this lack of voice...it reminds me of the good in life. I love you a whole bunch. You make my day, week, life...so much better and more worthwhile...you make me so happy, it's immeasureable. Anyone could say infinity to give an idea of all the good feelings that come about...but even that would put a limit to how incredibly happy I am around you. And I love you all the more. They call love 'amore' because there always is a-more...eh. There is just no limit to these things. Today reminded me of summer. I am genuinely happy. Thank you, for being you, and having that unique ability of making me smile with let alone your presence, then it multiplies when we talk. So this is what it feels like, to be truly happy. I must remember...times like these dont come around often enough...please dont forget, self...remember. Jenny at 1:26 AM Comments: Post a Comment
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