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part with me
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about me
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Alotta my pals say that I am pretty random, and i like to think out side of the box alot. Im pretty crazy but not in the straight jacket sorta way ya kno. I like to send letters to my friends cuz everyone likes to get real mail every once and a while. I also like to leave messages on answering machines. Those are a few joys in my life. Another joy in my life is my friends. They put happy into my life just being there. They are my favorite people and I would do anything for them. There are many other joys in my life such as my dog and writing. There are sum downs too but the good stuff makes up for it. Ya can't let the bad bring ya down too much bcuz then life gets a little harder everyday cuz its just bringin ya down. Movin on, Im kinda spastic and goofy and thats aways fun. I like to have fun and smile and have a good time. I'm never usually serious but sometimes I am when I write. Other than that, I usually am never serious cuz its just not me. It would just be weird. But hey I'm weird too and sponaneous so ya never know what to expect outta me I am just a firecracker that just never stops goin. Ya think the pop stops but no it keeps on goin. I can also be refered to as spark plug cuz i dunno i guess im sparky but okay. Thats about all the main stuff, you'll learn the rest in time.
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| this is your cue. smile. |
I feel like Im going through menopause. I went through so many moods this evening...happy, sad, frusterated, uplifted and hopeful, cheered up and loved, and now I am just moved. I just started crying...I didnt even know what to do...I just burst into tears and I didnt even have time to get a tissue box. So now I'm leaking like crazy...and its not even really from the glum parts of my day. It's from my friend's blog.
So I was reading Rachel's blog because I wanted to know how the surprise party went. I was really bummed because I wasnt invited cuz I wanted to say goodbye and wish her luck as well. So Im reading her entry reminicing and people who have touched her life and such. And she just has this beautiful way of putting her thoughts together and like moving you. Then I get down to this part where she was randomly listing those who have changed her life and like how she loves them and such. And I was reading through, feeling special of the fact that even though she didnt use names but memories to list these people, I knew who most of them were and could match them up. Then I got to this one and stopped to double take... "or if you wear hats with pictures on them and always have a huge smile or...." And I started crying because I was so moved that despite the fact havent had the opprotunity to hang out often, she listed me as one of those people. It made me feel so good, so uplifted that I could one of those people. That you know, for the few times we could hang out, I helped even just a little bit to change her life for the better and to be loved. And I would have never know. I felt so bad because I was afraid that like she would think I didnt want to say goodbye to her or see her before she left and I just burst into tears because man, she was one of those people that I loved hanging out with. Like I would walk all the way over to whereever she lives, just to say hello or cheer her up. She was just one of those people I looked forward to seeing because I didnt see her often enough and even if I did, I would never get tired of it. I would always look forward to her company. And I always wanted to hang out with her and stuff and like the fact that she's leavin for college just kinda hit me. Like just right now. Maybe I was in denial but like it didnt fully kick in to right about now. Actually, half hour ago or so. And I've just been like bawling my eyes out ever since because I really am going to miss her. I'm gonna miss her thoughtfulness and her company and just her her. I hope she will still write in her blog or else I dont think ill ever stop crying. Im not crying because she makes me sad, Im crying because she makes me so happy. Im crying because she has moved me to a point where thats all I know what to do. I cant hug her right now, I cant wave or anything, I just kinda am here...locked in the office...with no tissue. Boogies will prolly be all over my algebra hw but I dont care. I just cant stop crying because i miss her. I cant stop crying because she remembered me...my silly hat and me...i was one of those people who changed her life. I wasnt just a blank face in the crowd...I was Jenny...with my hat with pictures and my smile... ...and now my tear stained cheeks and boogies comin outta my nose but nevertheless, Im smiling. Because she makes me so happy, she makes me so proud that I was able to impact her that little bit for the good. And she makes me so grateful that she said that, because I would have never known. Im just so happy and sad and finally i think i ran outta tears and boogies for the time being...I just really need a hug right now. Jenny at 8:51 PM
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