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part with me
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about me
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Alotta my pals say that I am pretty random, and i like to think out side of the box alot. Im pretty crazy but not in the straight jacket sorta way ya kno. I like to send letters to my friends cuz everyone likes to get real mail every once and a while. I also like to leave messages on answering machines. Those are a few joys in my life. Another joy in my life is my friends. They put happy into my life just being there. They are my favorite people and I would do anything for them. There are many other joys in my life such as my dog and writing. There are sum downs too but the good stuff makes up for it. Ya can't let the bad bring ya down too much bcuz then life gets a little harder everyday cuz its just bringin ya down. Movin on, Im kinda spastic and goofy and thats aways fun. I like to have fun and smile and have a good time. I'm never usually serious but sometimes I am when I write. Other than that, I usually am never serious cuz its just not me. It would just be weird. But hey I'm weird too and sponaneous so ya never know what to expect outta me I am just a firecracker that just never stops goin. Ya think the pop stops but no it keeps on goin. I can also be refered to as spark plug cuz i dunno i guess im sparky but okay. Thats about all the main stuff, you'll learn the rest in time.
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Wow, mmmkay so for starters since i didnt have the time to right much yesterday, this weekend was the most off weekend of my life. I was so not me. I was like dead. Jenny was like not all there this whole last weekend. I mean I was freakishly mellow and calm and just weird. But not the normal weird...the 'what the fuck is wrong with me?' weird. I was homesick...and just sick in general. Allergies. No real excuse but then again, this weekend I was having a hard time thinking. I mean...I kept thinking and thinking and it just made me long for unreachable things. Bummer...yes, exausting...yes, hopeless...far as I know. I dont even know what I want. I just know how I feel.
So yea, glum weekend but brightened up by millions by lovely friends. Specially those who go by the name Carly. Chyea, her + icecream = splendid time. I love talking to her. I dont know how many times I can say that. But seriously, all the calamity in life dies away into the shadows and it's like life is on pause for just those few hours. And it's so relaxing because hanging out with her and talking with her is like a vacation from the real world. Sure we will be talking about our lifes happenings or whatever, but everything is on pause. Any foul feelings I have been feeling or any bad situation or complication life brings along, it disappears for the time being. Its like looking at your life in a glass case...you are just looking in...and you cant really feel it's wrath. And we talk and talk about many a things, and ya just understand. It's nice, sometimes I dont even have to finish what im sayin cuz she knows where im gettin at. We've all felt the same in a way once or twice in our lives, just differently because it was a different situation. I like being understood. I like the fact that everything goes on pause and that we both dont mind. I lke the fact I dont have to be me at my fullest and I can just sit and veg out with the Carly. Yesterday, the only worry in my mind as we were sittin at the beach was the fact that we had 5 tubs of icecream in her car and I was afraid they were gonna melt and maybe make a mess. And even then, I was calm cuz we were just blocks from my house to clean it up if it were to melt everywhere. To just sit and appreciate someone's company is something I treasure. There are few people I can actually do that with, just sit and space out listening to music or watching TV or something. Everyone always expects some wild entertainment out of me, which I dont mind...but i also really enjoy the silences. I like to just take a moment and breathe. Put the wild on a slowmo, and just breathe. I love entertaining, but I also love quiet time. So tell me, if you ever wanna veg out and take a breather, tell me. I highly enjoy those times in life. I even flippin hung out at my friends to take a nap cuz my house was crazy. Naptimes rock. Spacin out rocks. And inhaling and remembering to exhale is wonderful too. And vice versa (seriously, sometimes I forget). As DC says, "Remember to breathe...and everything will be okay." Pat the icecream man gave us free icecream. Not just a cone, FIVE TUBS! 2 vanilla, 2 chocolate, and one twisted cow mix. I gave him a hug, because seriously, I was so estatic...I had no idea how else to thank him. The man is amazingly generous...and he is so getting my business forever. Went to the beach afterwards, sat and listened to the Garden State soundtrack and watched kids play badmitton. I heart that soundtrack, LUCKY. GOSH lol haha. Hmmm...good talking time, much talked about along with the breaks in between just to sit back and gaze at the world go on around us. You can look at the sky when you are on pause, and you see the clouds are still moving...that is the only proof that life is actaually still happening around you. The world is still spinning, yet you are stationary. You being to really believe that you are really just on pause as this world continues it's constant rotation and orbit. But everything is so seperated. The world is still spinning, but you arent. You are there, with everything happening around you...just there...almost floating. And its all like a TV show. Things are so much easier to understand on these breaks. Seriously...great way to get an arial view on your life. I got home sometime later and dunno...ate something. I dont really recall much. I fell asleep and woke up later...went to bed again in my real bed and not the floor (why the hell the floor? I dont know...) And I was getting to today, but im getting really hot right now...it gets really warm in the office and it kinda interrupts my thinking. hopefully more after my resume. I love you. Thank you for all you have given me by just being you. Thank you for listening to me, talking, sitting in pause with me. And thank you for understanding. You have no idea how much I appreciate our talks and time hanging out. You are amazing on all levels. Im glad i finally got the courage to Im for the first time lol even tho I was shy. It was about the best thing that I could have every gotten the guts to do. Haha im a silly temporary shy Jen Jen. Much love Jenny at 10:31 PM
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