Her Smiling Eyes

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

I'm sorry it's been such a while since I last wrote.

Homecoming was really amazing. I had a really great time dancing and spending time with the people I love. Boy how I love to dance lol. I don't necessarily know how to, but just the energy from it...ahh it's flippin sweet. Everyone looked beautiful that evening, just simply gorgeous. Not like these people haven't always been beautiful but it seemed to radiate in enormous amounts that night.

My favorite thing about the whole experience is how it brought us all together. I love all my friends so much. Having them all together in one setting, just all of us hanging out and dancing together was just amazing. All these good feelings were just everywhere, all the joy and positive energy. I was truly happy throughout the night. I really was.

And the fun didnt even end after the dance. Kaitlen, Joe, Matt, and I went to Taco Bell to get some drinks before we went to Abby's. We had a nice conversation with the mechanical order box. We made friends with it lol. The person was really cool though. Joe paid for all of us. He's a neat guy with some killer moves. Im glad Kaitlen went with him.

We went to Abby's house and hung out. We watched the musical parts of Rocky Horror Picture Show and I sang along because surprisingly I know all the songs. I did not know I knew them until I realize I was singing along and knew all the words.

We all talked and laughed a lot and I changed into my many layers of clothing. Then I went out to the tent and slept. We listened to Disney Soundtracks and I remembered most of those songs too so that was cool. I sang along for the most part but then I was remembering my childhood and I was like ehhh no more Disney...

I didnt have a terrible childhood or anything. It was rather enjoyable actually. Just the fact that I was remembering how much I wanted my sister to like me then. How much I tried to get her to like me and how she would always turn me down like I had no right to even be seen with her. How much it hurt me that it was too much for her to stomach that I actually wanted to spend time with her and cared about her and loved her and wasnt afraid to tell her then. And now...how I dont care. Well, I care but it doesnt really matter as much. I dont care if she doesnt like me, I dont care if she doesnt want to spend time with me, and i dont care if she knows I love her or not or if she loves me or not. I just dont care anymore. And realizing how I just put up that wall so it wouldnt hurt anymore...

But it's fine. I know she loves me, she is my sister and it's like a law. She has to somehow. And I know I love her.

Getting in and out of the tent was a challenge. When I would have to get in and out of the tent, I would have to dive over Ward and through the opening of the tent like a lion jumping though a ring. Once, when I was returning from brushing my teeth, I went to dive over him and I accidently punched him in the crotch as I was diving. I naver laughed so hard in my life lol. For once, I didnt mean to hurt him and then I end up doing it anyway. It was just funny to see him curl up into a little ball. I'm sorry again, Ward lol.

It was wonderful waking up with all my friends. It was like the good times rolled over to the next day to continue. It was nice waking up and seeing their lovely faces. We ate breakfast and vegged out watching Mean Girls. It's a nifty movie, not what I expected though.

Some of us went to watch Abby, Julie and Christine play iceless hockey at Palombi. It was good times, we all turned into competitive soccer mom like people. We were all cheering and screamin, it was good times lol. A lot of people I know are in iceless hockey. I had no idea that Kira played, not thinkin that cheerleading was her only 'sport' but she just never really played much when we did competitive sports like that.

It was my first time back to Palombi. Memories came flooding. They even used the little barriers we used when we would play iceless hockey in gym. Oh, the memories. Oh, the shin wounds, scrapes, and bruises. I miss those.

I put a lot of energy into sports. Why I'm not in any? I have no idea. I'm good but not good enough to be on a team. And I would hate to try out and not make it. That always kills me. I could really put my all into volleyball, basketball, soccer, and iceless hockey though. Maybe even track.

I actually said today that I would rather run around than do aerobics. What has come over me? Either I am getting better or I am accepting the challenge of it and making it my goal to conquer it. Either way, I am running a lot better. I am really proud of myself. And I keep telling myself "Faster, harder, faster, harder" because I want to get faster. My mile is 8:45 currently. I would like to get that down to 8:15 next time.

Pacer, I would like to get 55. I can get 40-45, 45 im a little winded but i am still learning to pace myself. I usually dont get into it until the middle of it. Faster. Harder. Faster. Harder.

So far, my week has been pretty swell. Monday was college night. Meh...

"Let the poet struggle to describe your heart; your art of love and your love of art. And if you ever loved me, tell me so...as you turn to go"

Tuesday I was able to hang out with the ever so lovely Kaitlen =D We hunted for the new Elliott Smith CD but no dice dammit. I realize, I am a terrible tripper. I cannot trip people without being way too obvious. Im just very uncoordinated and I cant walk and then put my leg out to trip someone all at the same time...I would have better luck just running ahead and just diving in front of them.

We went to the choir concert and that was nifty cool =) We were kinda loud and obnoxious but it was all in good fun. We were trying to make them blush and smile on stage. So we were doing the wave and whistling, making mating calls and such.

My favorite song of the night was the Zombie Jamboree. They had this friggin sweet set up with black lights and happy hand dancing and glowing mouths. My favorite part of the song I actually misheard but i like it better.
I heard: "Back to back, belly to belly. Well it doesn't really matter cuz we're stoned already."
What they really said was: "Back to back, belly to belly. Well it doesnt really matter cuz we're stone dead already."

Stoned fit well nonetheless, the lights and colors were very trippy, I could see how you could incorperate that in there. I can see where the drug reference comes in lol

I love Kaitlen so so much and I really enjoyed hanging out with her yesterday. She is an amazing friend and I am so glad I met her and that we have become such good friends. We make some mean soup =)

Today was a sweet day. Brittany wrote me a really cool note but it was also saddening. But I will do as she wishes and keep her happy and sane. I love her very muchly and I am honored that she would come to me. It makes me really happy that I make her happy and laugh and keep her sane. I hope I can cheer her up so she is happy Brittany again and not troubled with woes Brittany.

Yoga was funny today. I heart my gym class, we rock socks. O'connor promises us a dodgeball game. I felt bad for rebelling rummel yesterday. I hope I didnt hurt her feelings.

I had a dream that O'Connor was really disappointed in me disobeying Rummel yesterday. And she was like "You were bad Jenny, you can't go to the Halloween party anymore!!" I got really sad and then she told me to run 40 laps around the gym and I did. And people we watching me run because I was bad and I felt worse and then when I was done running I cried cuz I wasnt allowed to go to the party.

Haha it was such a pathetic dream. I felt like a 5 year old.

But O'Connor wasnt mad at me and I can still go to the halloween party =D

The rest of the day was really fun but my favorite was Amnesty. I finally get to go again! We priced more goods and Manda and I got cookies and posterboard from Walgreens. Oreos rock. Not as much as my double chocolate chip espresso cookies though. Those win.

I love my friends. They are so freaking awesome. Brittany put on baseball pants and this 'shoulder warmer' and put styrofoam cups under her shirt. Dave put on some baseball pants as well and a really tight shirt. They were running around and we were all goofing off. Then as we are making a poster, a group of the Amnesty kids run out into the hall and we have a Bra Race. Dave had this bra on and we were racing to see who could get the bra off the fastest. I got 10 seconds. It was harder than it looked being as he had a teeshirt on and it kept bunching up making it hard to unhook. The fastest time was a tied record of 2 seconds. HOT DAMN WE'VE GOT SOME PROS!

For that being my first time taking a bra off of someone other than myself, I think I did pretty good lol. I am proud of my newfound skill haha

I got this nifty little boys shirt with GODZILLA on it...how kick ass is that dude?

EXTREMELY!

We colored Peter's hair multicolored. Muah ha ha!

Matt and I are no longer going out. I think it is best that way. I am really glad we are remaining friends and are comfortable enough to still casually date from time to time.

I have to go now. Mucho homework.

I love you all so much =D

Jenny at 7:42 PM

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her smiling eyes
this is your cue. smile.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004 I'm sorry it's been such a while since I last wrote. Homecoming was really amazing. I had a really great time dancing and spending time with the people I love. Boy how I love to dance lol. I don't necessarily know how to, but just the energy from it...ahh it's flippin sweet. Everyone looked beautiful that evening, just simply gorgeous. Not like these people haven't always been beautiful but it seemed to radiate in enormous amounts that night. My favorite thing about the whole experience is how it brought us all together. I love all my friends so much. Having them all together in one setting, just all of us hanging out and dancing together was just amazing. All these good feelings were just everywhere, all the joy and positive energy. I was truly happy throughout the night. I really was. And the fun didnt even end after the dance. Kaitlen, Joe, Matt, and I went to Taco Bell to get some drinks before we went to Abby's. We had a nice conversation with the mechanical order box. We made friends with it lol. The person was really cool though. Joe paid for all of us. He's a neat guy with some killer moves. Im glad Kaitlen went with him. We went to Abby's house and hung out. We watched the musical parts of Rocky Horror Picture Show and I sang along because surprisingly I know all the songs. I did not know I knew them until I realize I was singing along and knew all the words. We all talked and laughed a lot and I changed into my many layers of clothing. Then I went out to the tent and slept. We listened to Disney Soundtracks and I remembered most of those songs too so that was cool. I sang along for the most part but then I was remembering my childhood and I was like ehhh no more Disney... I didnt have a terrible childhood or anything. It was rather enjoyable actually. Just the fact that I was remembering how much I wanted my sister to like me then. How much I tried to get her to like me and how she would always turn me down like I had no right to even be seen with her. How much it hurt me that it was too much for her to stomach that I actually wanted to spend time with her and cared about her and loved her and wasnt afraid to tell her then. And now...how I dont care. Well, I care but it doesnt really matter as much. I dont care if she doesnt like me, I dont care if she doesnt want to spend time with me, and i dont care if she knows I love her or not or if she loves me or not. I just dont care anymore. And realizing how I just put up that wall so it wouldnt hurt anymore... But it's fine. I know she loves me, she is my sister and it's like a law. She has to somehow. And I know I love her. Getting in and out of the tent was a challenge. When I would have to get in and out of the tent, I would have to dive over Ward and through the opening of the tent like a lion jumping though a ring. Once, when I was returning from brushing my teeth, I went to dive over him and I accidently punched him in the crotch as I was diving. I naver laughed so hard in my life lol. For once, I didnt mean to hurt him and then I end up doing it anyway. It was just funny to see him curl up into a little ball. I'm sorry again, Ward lol. It was wonderful waking up with all my friends. It was like the good times rolled over to the next day to continue. It was nice waking up and seeing their lovely faces. We ate breakfast and vegged out watching Mean Girls. It's a nifty movie, not what I expected though. Some of us went to watch Abby, Julie and Christine play iceless hockey at Palombi. It was good times, we all turned into competitive soccer mom like people. We were all cheering and screamin, it was good times lol. A lot of people I know are in iceless hockey. I had no idea that Kira played, not thinkin that cheerleading was her only 'sport' but she just never really played much when we did competitive sports like that. It was my first time back to Palombi. Memories came flooding. They even used the little barriers we used when we would play iceless hockey in gym. Oh, the memories. Oh, the shin wounds, scrapes, and bruises. I miss those. I put a lot of energy into sports. Why I'm not in any? I have no idea. I'm good but not good enough to be on a team. And I would hate to try out and not make it. That always kills me. I could really put my all into volleyball, basketball, soccer, and iceless hockey though. Maybe even track. I actually said today that I would rather run around than do aerobics. What has come over me? Either I am getting better or I am accepting the challenge of it and making it my goal to conquer it. Either way, I am running a lot better. I am really proud of myself. And I keep telling myself "Faster, harder, faster, harder" because I want to get faster. My mile is 8:45 currently. I would like to get that down to 8:15 next time. Pacer, I would like to get 55. I can get 40-45, 45 im a little winded but i am still learning to pace myself. I usually dont get into it until the middle of it. Faster. Harder. Faster. Harder. So far, my week has been pretty swell. Monday was college night. Meh... "Let the poet struggle to describe your heart; your art of love and your love of art. And if you ever loved me, tell me so...as you turn to go" Tuesday I was able to hang out with the ever so lovely Kaitlen =D We hunted for the new Elliott Smith CD but no dice dammit. I realize, I am a terrible tripper. I cannot trip people without being way too obvious. Im just very uncoordinated and I cant walk and then put my leg out to trip someone all at the same time...I would have better luck just running ahead and just diving in front of them. We went to the choir concert and that was nifty cool =) We were kinda loud and obnoxious but it was all in good fun. We were trying to make them blush and smile on stage. So we were doing the wave and whistling, making mating calls and such. My favorite song of the night was the Zombie Jamboree. They had this friggin sweet set up with black lights and happy hand dancing and glowing mouths. My favorite part of the song I actually misheard but i like it better. I heard: "Back to back, belly to belly. Well it doesn't really matter cuz we're stoned already." What they really said was: "Back to back, belly to belly. Well it doesnt really matter cuz we're stone dead already." Stoned fit well nonetheless, the lights and colors were very trippy, I could see how you could incorperate that in there. I can see where the drug reference comes in lol I love Kaitlen so so much and I really enjoyed hanging out with her yesterday. She is an amazing friend and I am so glad I met her and that we have become such good friends. We make some mean soup =) Today was a sweet day. Brittany wrote me a really cool note but it was also saddening. But I will do as she wishes and keep her happy and sane. I love her very muchly and I am honored that she would come to me. It makes me really happy that I make her happy and laugh and keep her sane. I hope I can cheer her up so she is happy Brittany again and not troubled with woes Brittany. Yoga was funny today. I heart my gym class, we rock socks. O'connor promises us a dodgeball game. I felt bad for rebelling rummel yesterday. I hope I didnt hurt her feelings. I had a dream that O'Connor was really disappointed in me disobeying Rummel yesterday. And she was like "You were bad Jenny, you can't go to the Halloween party anymore!!" I got really sad and then she told me to run 40 laps around the gym and I did. And people we watching me run because I was bad and I felt worse and then when I was done running I cried cuz I wasnt allowed to go to the party. Haha it was such a pathetic dream. I felt like a 5 year old. But O'Connor wasnt mad at me and I can still go to the halloween party =D The rest of the day was really fun but my favorite was Amnesty. I finally get to go again! We priced more goods and Manda and I got cookies and posterboard from Walgreens. Oreos rock. Not as much as my double chocolate chip espresso cookies though. Those win. I love my friends. They are so freaking awesome. Brittany put on baseball pants and this 'shoulder warmer' and put styrofoam cups under her shirt. Dave put on some baseball pants as well and a really tight shirt. They were running around and we were all goofing off. Then as we are making a poster, a group of the Amnesty kids run out into the hall and we have a Bra Race. Dave had this bra on and we were racing to see who could get the bra off the fastest. I got 10 seconds. It was harder than it looked being as he had a teeshirt on and it kept bunching up making it hard to unhook. The fastest time was a tied record of 2 seconds. HOT DAMN WE'VE GOT SOME PROS! For that being my first time taking a bra off of someone other than myself, I think I did pretty good lol. I am proud of my newfound skill haha I got this nifty little boys shirt with GODZILLA on it...how kick ass is that dude? EXTREMELY! We colored Peter's hair multicolored. Muah ha ha! Matt and I are no longer going out. I think it is best that way. I am really glad we are remaining friends and are comfortable enough to still casually date from time to time. I have to go now. Mucho homework. I love you all so much =D Jenny at 7:42 PM Comments: Post a Comment
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