Her Smiling Eyes

Sunday, February 20, 2005

My mind is so cluttered right now. I wish there were some way to sift through all my thoughts without struggling to distinguish how they make me feel. I can't exactly tell when I am truly happy anymore. It's just a bunch of fun mirrors and hallucinacions it seems. Life is all distorted. The too good to be true takes a twist and comes true. But just as quickly, uncertainty pops its ugly head and things seem to retreat- if only every so slightly. Maybe it's all in my head. Sometimes it hurts to think.

"Just because you feel it- doesn't mean it's there"
Maybe. But I sure hope not. I'd hate to fall for something that isn't real. Disception is hard to swallow.

On another note, Turnabout was a lot better than I imagened it would be. It was nothing like last year's. But before I talk about all that, I need to develope my film. More when I get back.

Continued. So I had a really good time last night. Tina was my "date" which was fun. Umm...I got my hair cut and 'styled' around 1pm. I love how Fantastic Sams just sucks you into their business. I reserved Katie for 1pm and the receptionist sounded doubtful that Katie was even coming. But nevertheless, she told me all was well and left me believing so. Well, I got there only to find Katie is sick and not working. Shit. Way to tell me at the last minute, bitches. So I had to go to this new lady that was cold and didn't talk to me =( She didn't understand my attempted styling instructions and she kept spraying me in the eyes with hairspray. I missed Katie so much. I really need to catch up with her. Things turned out okay, though. Not much to complain about besides the disception. I hope she feels better, though.

I went to Tina's house around 3ish and we got ready (we as in Katy, Liz, her, and me). Now, I don't dress up often at all. These little excuses (dances and such), they give me reason to dress up. I like it. I need these little excuses to make myself all dolled up. Jeans and a teeshirt don't give me that same sexy feeling as a dress does. And believe it or not, I absolute love that sexy feeling dresses give me. Or maybe it accentuates my sexiness? Hmm...either/or, I like showing some skin every once and a while. Oh it's so much fun!

With that said, I was extremely eager to put on the dress. I wore it for homecoming and I had so much fun wearing it...ahhh I love it. I borrowed it from Megggily and wow, I need to know where she got it because I would wear it just about once a week, maybe more. But before I put it on, I let Liz do some of my make-up. I had her do this slightly smokey look on my eyes. I wore some blush (as if I don't blush enough lol), and some fun lipstick. Then I let Tina do my eye liner (I can't put that stuff on for the life of me) and mascara. I did some touch ups because Im just a freak like that and I need to alter everything just a little bit to make sure it's perfect (nervous habit).

Badda bah bah! Then I put on the dress! Yay! I felt so pretty and dainty! It was happy all around. I couldn't stop smiling. The girls said I looked saucy and that was nice. I was having fun just walking around in the dress and spinning. I felt like I was playing dress up. Then Liz painted my nails a deep red so they matches my toes. Toes is a funny word...for a second, I thought I just made it up. I was thinkin "WTF? Where did that come from?" haha good stuff. Anyhow...

I like eyeliner. It looks nice on my bottom lid. It makes my eyes pop out in a good way, if that sounds possible. Oh! I felt so sexy all dolled up! My hair was flipped out, make-up was all good, and the dress was fun already. What topped it off is this fedora I found it Tina's room. Oh my sweet and gentle Jesus!! It was the cat's meow and went amazing with the dress! And she let me wear it to the dance!! Oh boy!! I was so happy! I love fedora's! Seriously, the hat topped off everything. I wanted to prance down the streets. The way my hair was flipped out and with the hat tilted just right...GOODNESS GRACIOUS!! It was so fun! I felt like a gangsta you'd see in 30's movies. And I had a little purse! It was precious! I hate purses but this one was precious! Ahhh!! Dainty =D

And the dance! Oh lord, that was a good time. The thing that made it so different from last time is that I went with a friend this time and not a definate date. Last year, I went with a date date and he got too into it and was just way too clingy to me. I told him we were just going as friends but he didnt get that part and was treating me more so likea girlfriend. But there was none of that this year. I didn't have to worry about Tina trying to hold my hand all the time or kissing me all night, I was free! I hung around her and some of our friends for most of the dance but I had the freedom of mingling without being stalked like last year. I hung out and danced with so many people, it was fucking hot!

I danced to about 3 or 4 slow dances (there weren't that many slow songs, surprisingly) with various people. I danced with Peter, two other boys that I don't really remember their names...(ugh I feel like a whore lol), and lastly but not leastly, with Tina. It was a lot of fun. Emma and I were the prowlers of the dance, mingling like nobody's business. I danced with Chani, Petes, Sean, Mike, Brandon, and Ashton for some of the night and I would visit Courtney, Dane, Courtney's pretty date, and Sunshine. Sunshine likes my dancing and that made me smile, considering the fact that I can't dance too well. The main group was Tina, Katy, Erin, Alyse, Liz, Hannah, Teddy, etc.

During one of my own mingling times (sans Emma I mean), I was yoinked into this whole grinding circle and whoa dude, I ended up in the center and damn...everyone needs to experience that at least once in there life. Everyone is pretty much revolving around you and it's hot. Plain and simple. I tried to learn how to sexy dance from Megan but that didn't work out. I s'pose I would need stillettos to match her rather than my adidas. Yes, that's right, I wore my adidas instead of heels when I got to the dance. Hells yea, I kick ass lol.

There were these two girls there that were quite interesting. What caught my eye was the leash the one had for the other. Hot damn...that looked invigorating and kinky. I want to get a leash for my sex slave. I need to find a sex slave first, but then I will get a leash. Wow. Whips and chains, too. Mmmmm hmmm.

Everyone was so beautiful that night, seriously. Everyone had this sexy 'one night only' glow that radiated the room. With the lights and the mood just right, it was incredible. I love dancing. I loved dancing with everyone. I loved playing dress-up and feeling like a million dollars. I loved struttin my stuff. I loved busting a move. I loved being comfortable in my shoes lol. That is exactly what I needed. A good dose of friends, dancing, and sexiness.

I wish they could have seen me that night. I put a little extra 'oomph' hoping I'd run into them. One- MIA and two- probably snowboarding some way or another. I was disappointed a little...I don't dress up like this often =( I wanted them to see me all pretty.

I will have pictures soon, oh boy will I have pictures. What a night. It was good, good times. Mmmmhmmm =D

My friends are gorgeous and amazing and I love them.

Much love to all and then some

Jenny at 4:02 PM

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her smiling eyes
this is your cue. smile.
Sunday, February 20, 2005 My mind is so cluttered right now. I wish there were some way to sift through all my thoughts without struggling to distinguish how they make me feel. I can't exactly tell when I am truly happy anymore. It's just a bunch of fun mirrors and hallucinacions it seems. Life is all distorted. The too good to be true takes a twist and comes true. But just as quickly, uncertainty pops its ugly head and things seem to retreat- if only every so slightly. Maybe it's all in my head. Sometimes it hurts to think. "Just because you feel it- doesn't mean it's there" Maybe. But I sure hope not. I'd hate to fall for something that isn't real. Disception is hard to swallow. On another note, Turnabout was a lot better than I imagened it would be. It was nothing like last year's. But before I talk about all that, I need to develope my film. More when I get back. Continued. So I had a really good time last night. Tina was my "date" which was fun. Umm...I got my hair cut and 'styled' around 1pm. I love how Fantastic Sams just sucks you into their business. I reserved Katie for 1pm and the receptionist sounded doubtful that Katie was even coming. But nevertheless, she told me all was well and left me believing so. Well, I got there only to find Katie is sick and not working. Shit. Way to tell me at the last minute, bitches. So I had to go to this new lady that was cold and didn't talk to me =( She didn't understand my attempted styling instructions and she kept spraying me in the eyes with hairspray. I missed Katie so much. I really need to catch up with her. Things turned out okay, though. Not much to complain about besides the disception. I hope she feels better, though. I went to Tina's house around 3ish and we got ready (we as in Katy, Liz, her, and me). Now, I don't dress up often at all. These little excuses (dances and such), they give me reason to dress up. I like it. I need these little excuses to make myself all dolled up. Jeans and a teeshirt don't give me that same sexy feeling as a dress does. And believe it or not, I absolute love that sexy feeling dresses give me. Or maybe it accentuates my sexiness? Hmm...either/or, I like showing some skin every once and a while. Oh it's so much fun! With that said, I was extremely eager to put on the dress. I wore it for homecoming and I had so much fun wearing it...ahhh I love it. I borrowed it from Megggily and wow, I need to know where she got it because I would wear it just about once a week, maybe more. But before I put it on, I let Liz do some of my make-up. I had her do this slightly smokey look on my eyes. I wore some blush (as if I don't blush enough lol), and some fun lipstick. Then I let Tina do my eye liner (I can't put that stuff on for the life of me) and mascara. I did some touch ups because Im just a freak like that and I need to alter everything just a little bit to make sure it's perfect (nervous habit). Badda bah bah! Then I put on the dress! Yay! I felt so pretty and dainty! It was happy all around. I couldn't stop smiling. The girls said I looked saucy and that was nice. I was having fun just walking around in the dress and spinning. I felt like I was playing dress up. Then Liz painted my nails a deep red so they matches my toes. Toes is a funny word...for a second, I thought I just made it up. I was thinkin "WTF? Where did that come from?" haha good stuff. Anyhow... I like eyeliner. It looks nice on my bottom lid. It makes my eyes pop out in a good way, if that sounds possible. Oh! I felt so sexy all dolled up! My hair was flipped out, make-up was all good, and the dress was fun already. What topped it off is this fedora I found it Tina's room. Oh my sweet and gentle Jesus!! It was the cat's meow and went amazing with the dress! And she let me wear it to the dance!! Oh boy!! I was so happy! I love fedora's! Seriously, the hat topped off everything. I wanted to prance down the streets. The way my hair was flipped out and with the hat tilted just right...GOODNESS GRACIOUS!! It was so fun! I felt like a gangsta you'd see in 30's movies. And I had a little purse! It was precious! I hate purses but this one was precious! Ahhh!! Dainty =D And the dance! Oh lord, that was a good time. The thing that made it so different from last time is that I went with a friend this time and not a definate date. Last year, I went with a date date and he got too into it and was just way too clingy to me. I told him we were just going as friends but he didnt get that part and was treating me more so likea girlfriend. But there was none of that this year. I didn't have to worry about Tina trying to hold my hand all the time or kissing me all night, I was free! I hung around her and some of our friends for most of the dance but I had the freedom of mingling without being stalked like last year. I hung out and danced with so many people, it was fucking hot! I danced to about 3 or 4 slow dances (there weren't that many slow songs, surprisingly) with various people. I danced with Peter, two other boys that I don't really remember their names...(ugh I feel like a whore lol), and lastly but not leastly, with Tina. It was a lot of fun. Emma and I were the prowlers of the dance, mingling like nobody's business. I danced with Chani, Petes, Sean, Mike, Brandon, and Ashton for some of the night and I would visit Courtney, Dane, Courtney's pretty date, and Sunshine. Sunshine likes my dancing and that made me smile, considering the fact that I can't dance too well. The main group was Tina, Katy, Erin, Alyse, Liz, Hannah, Teddy, etc. During one of my own mingling times (sans Emma I mean), I was yoinked into this whole grinding circle and whoa dude, I ended up in the center and damn...everyone needs to experience that at least once in there life. Everyone is pretty much revolving around you and it's hot. Plain and simple. I tried to learn how to sexy dance from Megan but that didn't work out. I s'pose I would need stillettos to match her rather than my adidas. Yes, that's right, I wore my adidas instead of heels when I got to the dance. Hells yea, I kick ass lol. There were these two girls there that were quite interesting. What caught my eye was the leash the one had for the other. Hot damn...that looked invigorating and kinky. I want to get a leash for my sex slave. I need to find a sex slave first, but then I will get a leash. Wow. Whips and chains, too. Mmmmm hmmm. Everyone was so beautiful that night, seriously. Everyone had this sexy 'one night only' glow that radiated the room. With the lights and the mood just right, it was incredible. I love dancing. I loved dancing with everyone. I loved playing dress-up and feeling like a million dollars. I loved struttin my stuff. I loved busting a move. I loved being comfortable in my shoes lol. That is exactly what I needed. A good dose of friends, dancing, and sexiness. I wish they could have seen me that night. I put a little extra 'oomph' hoping I'd run into them. One- MIA and two- probably snowboarding some way or another. I was disappointed a little...I don't dress up like this often =( I wanted them to see me all pretty. I will have pictures soon, oh boy will I have pictures. What a night. It was good, good times. Mmmmhmmm =D My friends are gorgeous and amazing and I love them. Much love to all and then some Jenny at 4:02 PM Comments: Post a Comment
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