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part with me
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about me
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Alotta my pals say that I am pretty random, and i like to think out side of the box alot. Im pretty crazy but not in the straight jacket sorta way ya kno. I like to send letters to my friends cuz everyone likes to get real mail every once and a while. I also like to leave messages on answering machines. Those are a few joys in my life. Another joy in my life is my friends. They put happy into my life just being there. They are my favorite people and I would do anything for them. There are many other joys in my life such as my dog and writing. There are sum downs too but the good stuff makes up for it. Ya can't let the bad bring ya down too much bcuz then life gets a little harder everyday cuz its just bringin ya down. Movin on, Im kinda spastic and goofy and thats aways fun. I like to have fun and smile and have a good time. I'm never usually serious but sometimes I am when I write. Other than that, I usually am never serious cuz its just not me. It would just be weird. But hey I'm weird too and sponaneous so ya never know what to expect outta me I am just a firecracker that just never stops goin. Ya think the pop stops but no it keeps on goin. I can also be refered to as spark plug cuz i dunno i guess im sparky but okay. Thats about all the main stuff, you'll learn the rest in time.
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Mmmkay. Adding on to this post- yesterday I went to Vegas with Brendan. It's been a while since him and I hung out one on one so it was really nice to spend time with him. He told me about his mondo breakfast and that made me crave breakfast like Harold and Kumar craved White Castle. We planned to go to Infini-tea but dang snap they were closed. So we just went down a ways to Vegas and I indulged in my 'brunch' since it was already afternoon. I like breakfast at noon and dinner anyhow. Breakfast at breakfast time? Who does that?
After a nice conversation at Vegas, we decided we wanted to check out somr Antique shops. It was the perfect day to do it, but the sweet idea crashed and burned as soon as we realized most of the Antique shops were closed or 'open' but locked. Those fuckers... Instead, we went to Sacred Earth. It is kind of hard for me to take some of that spiritual stuff seriously but I respect their beliefs and ideas. Plus, I am always up for something new and interesting. I must say, after an afternoon in that store, I have a new found respect for those things. Their beliefs fascinate me to no extent and it's all so very interesting. I would love to be that spiritually involved with the world. And even if I may not necessarily believe in all the things their products claim to do, it's fun to play along and pretend. Brendan and I bought our first (or at least my first) incense burner. We bought these incense that were supposed to bring happiness into our lives with the sweet aroma. Brendan also bought a candle that was supposed to invoke motivation. Meh, it's fun to play along and test the waters of these new things. Plus, it's always nice to have something to believe in, whether it be that the insence will really conjure happiness or the candle will actually bring about motivation. I was definately relaxed and curious in that store. I find it so interesting. Despite my crazy imagination, I have always had trouble believing in things. And it's nice to just become inspired by all these beliefs and try new things out. Everyone needs something to believe in, and I find that right now these little spiritual things such as orange 'happy' insence give me the little dosage of belief that I need to get by. I just need little things like that to comfort my hungry, hopeful mind. Now, I believe in God and all, but I am not religious enough to be able to take it all seriously. I suppose he's up there somewhere or more so all around us, but sometimes I just have doubts on his way of doing thing or even sometimes his existance. Is it a sin to keep questioning things and wondering? It all seems too open for questioning...there has to be more. And like the typical human being I am, I always seem to believe that there is more. Maybe this is all we have. Or maybe there is much more in store for this little soul of mine. I just see all these foggy windows and distorted views and I wonder what's out there. It's about as fruitless as looking up at the sky and not seeing ALL of what space consists of. I feel jipped. What's beyond these skies? What's beyond this galaxy? What's beyond those black holes, sucking space reminants into this 'whole other dimension'? Where does heaven fit into all of this and how was it contrived that heaven was up and hell was down? Why is it that for a great deal of my life so far, I grew up thinking heaven was just above space and hell was in the center of the earth? Well, heaven I just don't know. But in my eyes, heaven is with in each and every one of our loved one's hearts. As for hell, well I know that the center of the earth is simply the core and that is made up of iron. It's surely hot down there but there are no known inhabitants. Where would hell go in this whole scheme? Back on earth? To Antioch? I mean it's all so open-ended and undefined. I'm sure if I just belived things would be a lot easier. But don't you think it's hard to believe in something so vast? I don't need visual evidence or anything, but I don't know...if one is going to write a book and preach of God, heaven and hell, and sin, wouldn't there be more evidentiary support? Or maybe it's all just about believing. I don't know...I just haven't gotten that down yet. I don't have to see to believe but I just know there has to be more than what we have right here. There has to be. Right now though, I shall stick to my orange 'happy' insence. They make me happy because they make me think about the lovely time I spent with Brendan. Life is so infinite. I must stop thinking beyond my thought capacity. My brain will most definately explode one day. Good night and love to all. Jenny at 11:23 PM
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