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about me
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Alotta my pals say that I am pretty random, and i like to think out side of the box alot. Im pretty crazy but not in the straight jacket sorta way ya kno. I like to send letters to my friends cuz everyone likes to get real mail every once and a while. I also like to leave messages on answering machines. Those are a few joys in my life. Another joy in my life is my friends. They put happy into my life just being there. They are my favorite people and I would do anything for them. There are many other joys in my life such as my dog and writing. There are sum downs too but the good stuff makes up for it. Ya can't let the bad bring ya down too much bcuz then life gets a little harder everyday cuz its just bringin ya down. Movin on, Im kinda spastic and goofy and thats aways fun. I like to have fun and smile and have a good time. I'm never usually serious but sometimes I am when I write. Other than that, I usually am never serious cuz its just not me. It would just be weird. But hey I'm weird too and sponaneous so ya never know what to expect outta me I am just a firecracker that just never stops goin. Ya think the pop stops but no it keeps on goin. I can also be refered to as spark plug cuz i dunno i guess im sparky but okay. Thats about all the main stuff, you'll learn the rest in time.
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"Hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful life is now you're in the world" Yes, I watched Moulin Rouge today. I was driving the car today with all the windows up and my music up. It's one of the best feelings ever, no doubt. There is just this freedom...you can just go. And I need that sometimes...sometimes I just want to go- whether I have a destination in mind or it so spontaneous, I don't know where to go...so in that case, you just pick a direction and keep moving. And when I get my license (within a few months), I will do just that. I will just go and play my music...drive into a field and lay on top of my car...just soak up the freedom and live. Then I was the passenger. It's funny how differently you see things as a passenger. It wasn't meant in a bad way, I just meant that I was able to look around a little more freely and not have to worry about swirving off the road. But I was in the back seat and looking out the window at the sky and the stars...I looked at the light flashing on this tower and the lights of all the houses. But I was mainly looking at the sky and I just got lost in it all. I was deep in thought and thinking about someone. I wasn't thinking anything in particular, this person was just on my mind. I felt very real, everything felt very real when looking at the sky. Life tends to go by like a movie for me...it just keeps rolling until the film runs out. And I tend to live it like I am just playing myself in a movie and like it's not really life...just a production of a film. I may not know my lines all the time or quite how to act in some scenes...but it's something I can learn. Tonight, I was reviewing the movie in my head. I felt like me, and not a character just playing herself. I guess that's what I mean about feeling real. It's hard to explain, it's something one has to feel. I woke up this morning at 10:58am and I was frantic because I thought I was late. And I had a half hour which was plenty of time but the second conflict came along when I realized I didn't have a ride. And I was so tired from the night before so I just went back to bed. The last thought in my head before I went to sleep was I wished I was there. I just wanted to let you know, I was thinking of you. Come what may, come what may I relate very much to that movie, my personality at least. I relate very much so to (Christian)Ewan McGregor. Just a simple writer longing for something to wild to contain. And I see him hopelessly typing on his typewriter...and I picture myself as I hopelessly type on this keyboard. We are just the same, we live to love. That's all we know. And I see his struggle to understand things...I can tell he tries to understand and sometimes does-I just feel for him. I struggle, too. I came across this post I wrote a while ago. And I felt like a loser because I got all excited and was like, "YES!! That's exactly what I want! Good Lord! I can relate!" Then I realized that it was my thoughts from the start because it was my writing...silly me... 'Simply, I just want someone to love me. I don't even necessarily need a relationship. It would just be nice to have someone to exchange affection with and cuddle; someone to talk to till the wee hours about life and the things that it contains or maybe infinite things like the universe and what that may contain. I want to learn about people and just exchange knowledge and past experiences. I want to make new experiences and new memories. I want to try new things. I want to experiment. I want someone to share that with. I just wanna share life. I want to share feelings. There is so much love to give and always more. Just give me a chance or just even a glance, it might be worth your while. Is it so terrible to want such things? Because I can give just as much- I know that' I guess it's just so. I don't know how many times I will have to say "Give it another day, maybe it'll go away" because it's still here and I dont think it's leaving anytime soon But I'll keep trying I really will Jenny at 11:17 PM
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