Her Smiling Eyes

Sunday, April 24, 2005

First off, I shaved my legs today. Now they are silky, smooth. That is always very amusing to me. Second off? Well, second off, it's sunny-like outside yet still very chilly. But it's still sunny so that's happy.

Maybe there is only a first off because all the other numbers sound weird. I had grapefruit juice this morning. I wonder why they call it grapefruit when it's this orange on steroids looking thing. I can understand if it was really really tiny but no, it's quite large.

I heart Broken Social Scene. Their music makes me happy.

I was at a partay friday and I met Brittany and Ariel's friend Vanessa again. She's really fun. She's in theater, too, and went to festival all the years I've gone. I can see why Brittany enjoys her company so much because she is really interesting and full of energy. It would be fun for us all to hang out one day.

The reason I brought that up is because she taught me all these fun games and things. She's just so free spirited and refreshing- I wish she went to our school so she could be in drama with me. It would be really fun. But I just exploded with playfulness and energy. I'm usually really playful when I hang out with Brittany because we like to play a lot and have fun. Hanging out with the both of them was twice as fun and it was just happy. A lot of people have forgotten how to play and it's really a shame because it's so fun.

I cherish my playfulness.

But I laughed a lot and I kinda lost my voice from it. Now I'm all raspy and such. Dang snap. It was well worth it though.

I got my tickettttttt for the prom. I need a dress stilllll and Ima going shooooooopin. I want a fun dress that I can dance in and I can swirl in.

I want some hashbrowns.

I think the weather should turn nice again because I think it really affects people's moods. Everyone seems a little gloomy and that's no good. I just hope you all know that I love you and I hope you find reason to smile today. Maybe I will leave fun messages on everyone's answering machine.

But first I have to do homework and eat.

I have to drive again today. Yesterday I went to North Chicago. I met this really polite boy named Trent. He may have had a pot leaf on his hat and looked fairly urban, but you'd be surprise at what's hidden underneath. Never judge a book by it's cover, you'd be very surprise what you may find underneath. He was very polite and respectful. His dad is in the navy and they have to live in navy houses in North Chicago. He had a very soft voice and it was really pleasant talking to him. I really like soft voices, it makes me think of tender shyness.

But then again, I really like extrovertedness. I like it when people have confidence in their voice and aren't afraid to be loud sometimes. Yet there is something about a soft voice that is so attractive to me, it just is so mysterious in my opinion because I'm not used to it. Most of the people I know are outgoing and arent afraid to speak loudly or be obnoxious.

I s'pose I find appreciation in things different from myself. I think of it ideal to find someone who is not really like myself, just so that we can accent each other. I see it as giving the other a taste of what they don't know and have yet to understand. Such as the soft, shyness of a conversation rather than the loud, obnoxious kind. Or instead of feeling the need to be constantly hyper, meet someone who can show me how to slow down for once and instead of talking so much, I could maybe learn how to appreciate the words left unspoken and let my actions say things for me.

Someday I'll find that lovely mesh between myself and whomever the other person may be. We will grow together and hopefully not apart. I want to mesh. I want to explore the parts of me I rarely ever bring to light. I want to be peacefully quite for a day. I want to have soft conversations. I want to slow down for a day and not feel like I'm going to fall behind. I want to cry for once and not feel ashamed. And I want to show people that there are many ways to find happiness and be happy. I want to show/teach weird, new things to people. I want to show that it's okay to be silly and still be playful. It's okay smile and laugh just because. I would like to promote spontanity and pleasant surprises.

It's really something to learn how to feel and see things with the help of peopel you meet. It's lovely to walk away after meeting someone with the thought that "This person taught me how to be free today" or "This person taught me how to be comfortable with all aspects of my being".

Nothing means more to me than when people tell me they want to get to know my more serious side. I would have never thought anyone would even think about stepping into those barren, vulnerable lands. Knowing that...I mean it's taught me that serious it's so bad. It's taught me that vulnerability is normal and sensitivity is somewhere deep inside us all. I have learned from all my friends to accept every little quirk and idiosyncrasy. Even the dark little corners and crevices, the shadows and the clouds and rain.

I have never been more ok than I am right now. I was up till 5am last night thinking of all these things and sometimes I was disappointed because I miss some feelings. But I keep telling myself that it must be for the best if it's happening against my will. That's a whole other story that I shall leave inside my bedside notebook.

Life is new. Just like spring time. The flowers are blooming and the trees are budding, the grass is green. It's as shame that most happiness tends to work like photosynthesis, though. You almost need the sun now to efficiently feed happiness and let it grow.

I'm happy. It's nice when it finally stops raining and the sun comes out causing the flowers to start blooming and everything to start growing again. Everywhere you turn, there is a new reason to smile because there is no longer a gray haze over it. I'm just really happy that I have the people in my life that I do, that certain people are still in my life, and that I am meeting new people to add to my life.

I am elated that you are still here. Just realizing that gives me all the more reason to smile.

Love to all and then some

Jenny at 12:23 PM

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her smiling eyes
this is your cue. smile.
Sunday, April 24, 2005 First off, I shaved my legs today. Now they are silky, smooth. That is always very amusing to me. Second off? Well, second off, it's sunny-like outside yet still very chilly. But it's still sunny so that's happy. Maybe there is only a first off because all the other numbers sound weird. I had grapefruit juice this morning. I wonder why they call it grapefruit when it's this orange on steroids looking thing. I can understand if it was really really tiny but no, it's quite large. I heart Broken Social Scene. Their music makes me happy. I was at a partay friday and I met Brittany and Ariel's friend Vanessa again. She's really fun. She's in theater, too, and went to festival all the years I've gone. I can see why Brittany enjoys her company so much because she is really interesting and full of energy. It would be fun for us all to hang out one day. The reason I brought that up is because she taught me all these fun games and things. She's just so free spirited and refreshing- I wish she went to our school so she could be in drama with me. It would be really fun. But I just exploded with playfulness and energy. I'm usually really playful when I hang out with Brittany because we like to play a lot and have fun. Hanging out with the both of them was twice as fun and it was just happy. A lot of people have forgotten how to play and it's really a shame because it's so fun. I cherish my playfulness. But I laughed a lot and I kinda lost my voice from it. Now I'm all raspy and such. Dang snap. It was well worth it though. I got my tickettttttt for the prom. I need a dress stilllll and Ima going shooooooopin. I want a fun dress that I can dance in and I can swirl in. I want some hashbrowns. I think the weather should turn nice again because I think it really affects people's moods. Everyone seems a little gloomy and that's no good. I just hope you all know that I love you and I hope you find reason to smile today. Maybe I will leave fun messages on everyone's answering machine. But first I have to do homework and eat. I have to drive again today. Yesterday I went to North Chicago. I met this really polite boy named Trent. He may have had a pot leaf on his hat and looked fairly urban, but you'd be surprise at what's hidden underneath. Never judge a book by it's cover, you'd be very surprise what you may find underneath. He was very polite and respectful. His dad is in the navy and they have to live in navy houses in North Chicago. He had a very soft voice and it was really pleasant talking to him. I really like soft voices, it makes me think of tender shyness. But then again, I really like extrovertedness. I like it when people have confidence in their voice and aren't afraid to be loud sometimes. Yet there is something about a soft voice that is so attractive to me, it just is so mysterious in my opinion because I'm not used to it. Most of the people I know are outgoing and arent afraid to speak loudly or be obnoxious. I s'pose I find appreciation in things different from myself. I think of it ideal to find someone who is not really like myself, just so that we can accent each other. I see it as giving the other a taste of what they don't know and have yet to understand. Such as the soft, shyness of a conversation rather than the loud, obnoxious kind. Or instead of feeling the need to be constantly hyper, meet someone who can show me how to slow down for once and instead of talking so much, I could maybe learn how to appreciate the words left unspoken and let my actions say things for me. Someday I'll find that lovely mesh between myself and whomever the other person may be. We will grow together and hopefully not apart. I want to mesh. I want to explore the parts of me I rarely ever bring to light. I want to be peacefully quite for a day. I want to have soft conversations. I want to slow down for a day and not feel like I'm going to fall behind. I want to cry for once and not feel ashamed. And I want to show people that there are many ways to find happiness and be happy. I want to show/teach weird, new things to people. I want to show that it's okay to be silly and still be playful. It's okay smile and laugh just because. I would like to promote spontanity and pleasant surprises. It's really something to learn how to feel and see things with the help of peopel you meet. It's lovely to walk away after meeting someone with the thought that "This person taught me how to be free today" or "This person taught me how to be comfortable with all aspects of my being". Nothing means more to me than when people tell me they want to get to know my more serious side. I would have never thought anyone would even think about stepping into those barren, vulnerable lands. Knowing that...I mean it's taught me that serious it's so bad. It's taught me that vulnerability is normal and sensitivity is somewhere deep inside us all. I have learned from all my friends to accept every little quirk and idiosyncrasy. Even the dark little corners and crevices, the shadows and the clouds and rain. I have never been more ok than I am right now. I was up till 5am last night thinking of all these things and sometimes I was disappointed because I miss some feelings. But I keep telling myself that it must be for the best if it's happening against my will. That's a whole other story that I shall leave inside my bedside notebook. Life is new. Just like spring time. The flowers are blooming and the trees are budding, the grass is green. It's as shame that most happiness tends to work like photosynthesis, though. You almost need the sun now to efficiently feed happiness and let it grow. I'm happy. It's nice when it finally stops raining and the sun comes out causing the flowers to start blooming and everything to start growing again. Everywhere you turn, there is a new reason to smile because there is no longer a gray haze over it. I'm just really happy that I have the people in my life that I do, that certain people are still in my life, and that I am meeting new people to add to my life. I am elated that you are still here. Just realizing that gives me all the more reason to smile. Love to all and then some Jenny at 12:23 PM Comments: Post a Comment
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