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part with me
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about me
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Alotta my pals say that I am pretty random, and i like to think out side of the box alot. Im pretty crazy but not in the straight jacket sorta way ya kno. I like to send letters to my friends cuz everyone likes to get real mail every once and a while. I also like to leave messages on answering machines. Those are a few joys in my life. Another joy in my life is my friends. They put happy into my life just being there. They are my favorite people and I would do anything for them. There are many other joys in my life such as my dog and writing. There are sum downs too but the good stuff makes up for it. Ya can't let the bad bring ya down too much bcuz then life gets a little harder everyday cuz its just bringin ya down. Movin on, Im kinda spastic and goofy and thats aways fun. I like to have fun and smile and have a good time. I'm never usually serious but sometimes I am when I write. Other than that, I usually am never serious cuz its just not me. It would just be weird. But hey I'm weird too and sponaneous so ya never know what to expect outta me I am just a firecracker that just never stops goin. Ya think the pop stops but no it keeps on goin. I can also be refered to as spark plug cuz i dunno i guess im sparky but okay. Thats about all the main stuff, you'll learn the rest in time.
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| this is your cue. smile. |
I tremble in fear and frusteration
as I realize I'm not nearly as strong as I thought And I sigh a shaky sigh Contemplating how I feel And my fingers nervously tap the keyboard Because I know there's going to be no structure, no form, It's as raw as shy, unspoken thoughts The things I want to say but never have the guts Right here on display Because I'm just made of glass So the world can see right through me And my feelings are right there In plain visibility And it's inevitable that I feel And I realize I miss you more than you could imagine I wanted to kiss you But shamefully just shook your hand And I regretted the distance between us frowned on the inside I wasn't quite ready to say my good bye's If only I knew what to say to make you stay... So I just hoped we'd come across every red-light in town And maybe we could talk some more maybe there'd be a little more time I drank my tea without sugar today because I wanted to experience the natural taste And if I lost all inhibition maybe I could tell you all this But I'm trying, Im really trying not to Give it another day, maybe it will go away It's one 'o five- and I think I lost my mind. So i keep on rambling in attempts to make thing clearer You haven't hurt me and I'm not sad I just miss you. There's that. I miss you. And it's probably just me missing And Im having ADD while revisiting all these memories Why did I shake your hand? You're no stranger And I feel lame But it's all so funny really late at night Any form I gained, I lost again And all these run-ons and incomplete sentences make up the unorganized thoughts In my silly brain that's a pinkish gray just like everyone elses I would have been your friend in forth grade but I was new and shy I could not recognize any faces Salamanders are crawling all over my brain Picking my thoughts out and putting them in frames I shook your hand so I could hold it for a little bit if only for a little bit I was holding it I think I'm on fire and my lip itches Wont you dance one more song with me And when the song's over, I'll try again I'll try again I'll try again Try not to think of you again I'll try not to think Boopity doopity doop I feel nothing at all right now After a while, it all goes away and I'm all thats left Just silly old me and my words and letters speaking of things that rarely matter but it matters to me and I wish I had some pumpernickle I dont know what it is but it's new and I'm cool with that There's a cleaver you insist on cutting things with and I worry because I see a mirror image of myself and the loss of a finger is a loss indeed And tomorrow, I just might wake up early Simply because my subconsious compels me to And I'd drive all the way down to a whole other school Just to see you at your finest doing what you enjoy Because you are most radient in moments like that You're happy and it shows and maybe I should just let you go because you are most beautiful when you are running and free wild, like a stallion with you're hair in the breeze And I would hate, hate, hate to ever restrain you from that But please don't run away from me Not that you would but I may never catch up And the wind may erase the footprints but not in my heart I feel so drunk yet I have never been drunk before This lack of sleep is doing me no good I babble like an idiot more human than I've ever been so many thoughts unrestricted Fuck regret Live in the moment Here I am 2:05am I am talking to myself by typing words that i only understand. Welcome to my world come out of the shadows and dance in the sunshine of truth and live life like there was no tomorrow and say things you should have said outloud so people can hear and allow even the deaf to hear and speak to the mute and translate to the foreign live on mars and tell all the martians What's wrong with me, world? What the hell is wrong with me? You bravely chew carrots and butter your pancakes and on the first really nice day we ate breakfast with the windows open and I wonder I wonder as deeply as I wonder about the universe and life deepest seas I wonder why I am torturing myself And I remember you saved an orange soda for me and hot cocoa and cookie and calls pass 10:30 and messages on the phone and not watching movies because im too busy looking at you and cds and songs and long in depth talks and chocolate chip pancakes with smiles on each one and foot steps in snow and whitewashing me and sledding at dusk and swinging on swings You see I cant help but fondly remember these things Because all of these things make me think of you and I dont mind because I'm happy to share them with you My brain is out of wack and my heart's out of order and my eyes falling out because I still have my contacts in and my head keeps on nodding but i'm not drooling yet I capture all of these things because they're some of my favorite moments And maybe it's late and maybe im not thinking clearly and maybe you'll run away and ill never catch up but at least i am truthful and im babbling still but im so tired and sleepy and still thinking of you Jenny at 12:35 AM
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