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part with me
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about me
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Alotta my pals say that I am pretty random, and i like to think out side of the box alot. Im pretty crazy but not in the straight jacket sorta way ya kno. I like to send letters to my friends cuz everyone likes to get real mail every once and a while. I also like to leave messages on answering machines. Those are a few joys in my life. Another joy in my life is my friends. They put happy into my life just being there. They are my favorite people and I would do anything for them. There are many other joys in my life such as my dog and writing. There are sum downs too but the good stuff makes up for it. Ya can't let the bad bring ya down too much bcuz then life gets a little harder everyday cuz its just bringin ya down. Movin on, Im kinda spastic and goofy and thats aways fun. I like to have fun and smile and have a good time. I'm never usually serious but sometimes I am when I write. Other than that, I usually am never serious cuz its just not me. It would just be weird. But hey I'm weird too and sponaneous so ya never know what to expect outta me I am just a firecracker that just never stops goin. Ya think the pop stops but no it keeps on goin. I can also be refered to as spark plug cuz i dunno i guess im sparky but okay. Thats about all the main stuff, you'll learn the rest in time.
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| this is your cue. smile. |
This is one of those years where you can feel yourself growing up. I can feel my body trembling inside as I am trying my best to comprehend all that's going. I am doing my best to soak everything in without leaking anything out. I realize that I am getting to a new stage in my life. I have to start saying "See you later" to people, hoping that maybe it will be a true statement. I never liked goodbyes, but I am slowly realizing that this could be it. This could be my last time seeing these people.
And I wonder, what will my last impression be before they go onward in their life? Will they think about me and smile? How have I affected them? Will they remember me as their life progresses? Right now I have to be strong. I'm trying not to be afraid of what the future holds. I don't want to doubt anything and I definately don't want to think about the chances of seeing all these friends later in life. It makes me really ashamed how I sometimes took advantage of seeing these friends everyday. And it really hits you when that stops. "Promise me you'll visit" is a phrase I keep hearing from friends. And it really blows me away because here it is- here is the biggest test a friendship could endure: distance. I see that phrase in a whole different light nowadays because it's not visiting them, it's visiting them and their new life. Maybe they will be different, for they will be officially out in the world now or at least in the sense that they are not confined within the walls of their hometown community anymore or living under the rules of their house. Maybe they will change from now to then, changing in many aspects. But nevertheless, I will still be there. If I have to be the only thing that is the same about them, if our friendship ends up being the only thing we have in common, and if I end up being one of the only little tastes of home they can endure, so be it. I promise, I will be all those things and more. And I promise, I will visit as often as I can. I hope you never forget me. When you hold in tears long enough, they cry through your nose (still as tear drops, mind you). Really, I am trying my best to understand. Somedays are harder than others though, and today is just one of those days. I love you. I can't emphasize that enough. Jenny at 11:50 PM
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