Her Smiling Eyes

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The air smells like grass.
I just woke up from a nap and I have no energy to do anything else besides write.
Or icecream...but it's before dinnertime and that's a no no.
So, write I shall.
Maybe I'll get icecream later.

Compassion
Gratitude
Compassion
Gratitude

I'm trying to cancel out the negatives

I played Spoons today in one of my classes- it was amazing =D "Is anybody bleeding? Good. Game on!" I love my friends haha.

Do you ever stare at something long enough and try to break it down to it's most basic components? For example, I am looking at a leaf. And within this leaf, there is a stem- in the leaf's case, a main vein- and little veins that branch off the stem. These stems hold water, nutrients, and chlorophyl. Beyond that, atoms and molecules. Who knew that something so small as an molecule or atom could amount to something so big after numerous bonds, fissions, and more bonds.

Hummm, let me think about good things. I got icecream last night with Abby Leigh and we ran all the way down to the Twisted Cow because this girl who worked there said they closed at 9pm. It was 8:30pm when we left so we had some skipping, galloping, and jogging ahead of us. We sprinted all the way down the plaza for extra emotion and such so that we could make a big deal how we did our best to make it on time just in case they were closing. Well, I guess the girl was silly and wrong because she misinformed me the time. I even knew they closed at 10pm but I wasnt sure if Memorial Day made the times any different. So we had an hour left to enjoy the luxuries of the Twisted Cow. It was Abby's first time there so it was extra cool.

The icecream was really yummy and we watched skaters do tricks in the parking lot. I have such a fascination with skaters because they tend to be so fearless and laidback. And their perseverance is AMAZING because you think after falling so much, one would just walk away because it hurts too much but no, they keep on truckin' until they land that trick. I am sure it is so fulfilling because it was fulfilling for me when I finally did an ollie. The pain means nothing when all you can think about is landing that trick. You just get back up and do it again, whether it's to show up a friend or simply to prove to yourself you can do it. Honestly, I wish I had all the courage and drive that these boys do. Dedication would be the best word for it.

I really want to take up painting this summer. I painted a picture in middle school, and to tell you the truth- I did a terrible job painting it. The blue print drawing was really impressive for my age but when it came to painting it...yikes. The nice part was that my art teacher gave me extra time on it because she knew I had the will to do it. I sorta had to rush at the end (painting-wise) because it was the end of the year and I spent so long drawing the damn thing. But I remember being so proud of myself. I remember thinking that if I had a chance, I would do it again- and better than before.

The way she had us do this project was that she took all these calender pictures that were previously painted by other, more professional artists. She took all the pictures from the calenders and put them in a pile. Then she told each of us to search through the pile and find one that we like best so that we could paint it. I chose one of a house near a lighthouse by the ocean. I drew it really neatly but the painting got a little sloppy. Then again, I didn't have the best brushes. In some instances, I needed a thinner brush or a fan brush- yet I only had the one I was using. I mixed all my colors well, but the final product of my painting was paint outside of the lines and just shameful.

I want to do better. And I am really interested in painting. I think I have the patience to try again and paint within the lines this time. I will use the correct brushes when I need them and stroke my brush across the canvas with a steady hand. I will have all the time in the world so I can use it wisely. And I plan on making a beautiful painting that I can look at an be completely proud of.

Stop sign tag is just about the most fun game in the world to play while walking around the block. No purses though or an automatic disqualification. Playing dirty is allowed but not with the help of potential weapons lol.

Twilight is the nicest time of day to walk because there is less of a chance to encounter traffic and just cars in general.

Leaning back while swinging makes me feel weightless.

Frogs that moo love to interrupt conversations.

We saw a spider eating a beetle on a web. It was extremely gross but so interesting at the same time. I am usually very much afraid of spiders but I wasn't as scared last night. There was no way in hell that I was gonna touch the damn thing but I wasnt afraid to watch it engulf its meal. It was too occupied to jump out and engulf anything else, anyhow.

In the end, it was an evening well spent :)

I don't really want to follow up the happy with some downers, and I definately do not want to end this entry on an uneasy note. I just hope she gets better. And before I over-analyze and get too upset about it, I'll change the subject.

I got a 97% on my American Dream paper. I got a 95% on the speech. I did very well and I am extremely proud of myself. And my ma and dad are also proud of me, so that makes me really happy. I am really glad that my dream is successful on paper because maybe then there is a better chance that I can bring it to life. Maybe I won't go to Wash U, and maybe I won't have a harley or huge house...but I can live without all those things. I would be happy to graduate college, work at a childcare for a few years, and eventually gather enough of my writing to create a book or two. I'd love to write children's books and I know that I will always have poetry inside of me. If I could just have that much, and a happy family + friends, life would be lovely. I don't plan on starting a family all too early because I would like to join the Peace Core, and I would hate to leave my loves for an extended period of time. I would come back though and hopefully meet someone I can share my life with. I could spend the rest of my life writing and sharing my experiences with my family and friends. I would like my life to revolve around love and happiness. Things would remain positive because that is the way I choose to live my life. And ultimately, my biggest accomplishment would be my family and friends. For all I care, I could ride a bike everywhere I go. For all I care, I could live in the forest and live off nuts and berries. What's most important to me is that my family is happy, healthy, and in love with life. Sure, there are some shitty aspects to life. But in the end, life is beautiful- you just need to look at it from the right angle.

I am going to go play hackey sack. I need a hug. Maybe I will find a four leaf clover. I hope there is a pretty sunset.

Jenny at 5:44 PM

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her smiling eyes
this is your cue. smile.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005 The air smells like grass. I just woke up from a nap and I have no energy to do anything else besides write. Or icecream...but it's before dinnertime and that's a no no. So, write I shall. Maybe I'll get icecream later. Compassion Gratitude Compassion Gratitude I'm trying to cancel out the negatives I played Spoons today in one of my classes- it was amazing =D "Is anybody bleeding? Good. Game on!" I love my friends haha. Do you ever stare at something long enough and try to break it down to it's most basic components? For example, I am looking at a leaf. And within this leaf, there is a stem- in the leaf's case, a main vein- and little veins that branch off the stem. These stems hold water, nutrients, and chlorophyl. Beyond that, atoms and molecules. Who knew that something so small as an molecule or atom could amount to something so big after numerous bonds, fissions, and more bonds. Hummm, let me think about good things. I got icecream last night with Abby Leigh and we ran all the way down to the Twisted Cow because this girl who worked there said they closed at 9pm. It was 8:30pm when we left so we had some skipping, galloping, and jogging ahead of us. We sprinted all the way down the plaza for extra emotion and such so that we could make a big deal how we did our best to make it on time just in case they were closing. Well, I guess the girl was silly and wrong because she misinformed me the time. I even knew they closed at 10pm but I wasnt sure if Memorial Day made the times any different. So we had an hour left to enjoy the luxuries of the Twisted Cow. It was Abby's first time there so it was extra cool. The icecream was really yummy and we watched skaters do tricks in the parking lot. I have such a fascination with skaters because they tend to be so fearless and laidback. And their perseverance is AMAZING because you think after falling so much, one would just walk away because it hurts too much but no, they keep on truckin' until they land that trick. I am sure it is so fulfilling because it was fulfilling for me when I finally did an ollie. The pain means nothing when all you can think about is landing that trick. You just get back up and do it again, whether it's to show up a friend or simply to prove to yourself you can do it. Honestly, I wish I had all the courage and drive that these boys do. Dedication would be the best word for it. I really want to take up painting this summer. I painted a picture in middle school, and to tell you the truth- I did a terrible job painting it. The blue print drawing was really impressive for my age but when it came to painting it...yikes. The nice part was that my art teacher gave me extra time on it because she knew I had the will to do it. I sorta had to rush at the end (painting-wise) because it was the end of the year and I spent so long drawing the damn thing. But I remember being so proud of myself. I remember thinking that if I had a chance, I would do it again- and better than before. The way she had us do this project was that she took all these calender pictures that were previously painted by other, more professional artists. She took all the pictures from the calenders and put them in a pile. Then she told each of us to search through the pile and find one that we like best so that we could paint it. I chose one of a house near a lighthouse by the ocean. I drew it really neatly but the painting got a little sloppy. Then again, I didn't have the best brushes. In some instances, I needed a thinner brush or a fan brush- yet I only had the one I was using. I mixed all my colors well, but the final product of my painting was paint outside of the lines and just shameful. I want to do better. And I am really interested in painting. I think I have the patience to try again and paint within the lines this time. I will use the correct brushes when I need them and stroke my brush across the canvas with a steady hand. I will have all the time in the world so I can use it wisely. And I plan on making a beautiful painting that I can look at an be completely proud of. Stop sign tag is just about the most fun game in the world to play while walking around the block. No purses though or an automatic disqualification. Playing dirty is allowed but not with the help of potential weapons lol. Twilight is the nicest time of day to walk because there is less of a chance to encounter traffic and just cars in general. Leaning back while swinging makes me feel weightless. Frogs that moo love to interrupt conversations. We saw a spider eating a beetle on a web. It was extremely gross but so interesting at the same time. I am usually very much afraid of spiders but I wasn't as scared last night. There was no way in hell that I was gonna touch the damn thing but I wasnt afraid to watch it engulf its meal. It was too occupied to jump out and engulf anything else, anyhow. In the end, it was an evening well spent :) I don't really want to follow up the happy with some downers, and I definately do not want to end this entry on an uneasy note. I just hope she gets better. And before I over-analyze and get too upset about it, I'll change the subject. I got a 97% on my American Dream paper. I got a 95% on the speech. I did very well and I am extremely proud of myself. And my ma and dad are also proud of me, so that makes me really happy. I am really glad that my dream is successful on paper because maybe then there is a better chance that I can bring it to life. Maybe I won't go to Wash U, and maybe I won't have a harley or huge house...but I can live without all those things. I would be happy to graduate college, work at a childcare for a few years, and eventually gather enough of my writing to create a book or two. I'd love to write children's books and I know that I will always have poetry inside of me. If I could just have that much, and a happy family + friends, life would be lovely. I don't plan on starting a family all too early because I would like to join the Peace Core, and I would hate to leave my loves for an extended period of time. I would come back though and hopefully meet someone I can share my life with. I could spend the rest of my life writing and sharing my experiences with my family and friends. I would like my life to revolve around love and happiness. Things would remain positive because that is the way I choose to live my life. And ultimately, my biggest accomplishment would be my family and friends. For all I care, I could ride a bike everywhere I go. For all I care, I could live in the forest and live off nuts and berries. What's most important to me is that my family is happy, healthy, and in love with life. Sure, there are some shitty aspects to life. But in the end, life is beautiful- you just need to look at it from the right angle. I am going to go play hackey sack. I need a hug. Maybe I will find a four leaf clover. I hope there is a pretty sunset. Jenny at 5:44 PM Comments: Post a Comment
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