Her Smiling Eyes

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

::drools:: GLORIOUS (less than three!) (less than three!)

I found just what I was looking for.
A new teeshirt source.
Oh yes, I am in love.
I am estatic- these teeshirts are genius.
EXPLOSION!!

It just came to mind today, my hat.
The infamous picture hat.
Boy has it developed over the years.
My sophomore year I started it.
Every week I'd change the picture.
Lately, I've been a little more laid back about it.
Currently, I have an equal sticker- promoting equal rights, of course (not mathematics, you numero nerds)
I have been meaning to change it to this sweet picture I made but whoopsies...it's been a while and I forgot how many pins I have on it now...
4x6 is a definate NO DICE.
3x5 would work nicer/neater.
BUT, out of photo paper.
Boo you whore.
Beyond that, though, I am really proud of it. This hat defines me, you know? It's like my trademark now. It contains everything I like and then some. It changes as I change...it gets old as I get older...it's pretty much as apart of me as my arm. I wear it proudly...I broke it in...it just works for me. Who knew something as simple as a hat would make me so happy and define me so well? I love this - I really, truly do. I mean, sure, it's gotten in the way at times (if ya know what I mean- heh heh) but all the same...it's been there. It just works for me.

I think I am gonna have this hat for a very long time.

Wow, I can't believe I got all mushy over the hat...I feel kind of weird now but whatev. I do what I want.

Well, I'm getting my people together to get boy's number. I didn't get a chance to ask for it the other night so I am relying on the chain of friends. I would really like to see him again. I don't know what this means. But I really do like him.

I just hope, hope, hope I don't mess up this time. I just get scared sometimes because part of me is so afraid of commitment because I'm unexperienced but then again, part of me is so ready for it...like I've been born ready to love. I'm just torn between the two.

I hope he likes me, too.

Eeep...I'm like a little school girl...

So my sleeping pattern is f'ed up.
Two midnight rendezvous back to back.
No good for the body clock.
On the weekend, I'd get up at 2pm and go to bed at 3am.
Then I'd do it again.
It's hard to get out of the habit because that's the only way your body can rejuvenate.
Today I made myself wake up at 11am.
Tomorrow I'll try the same.
I need to get back into my normal habit.

Totally stupid reason to get a job but I think I am going to get one...
just so I can have uber lots of money to buy all these new teeshirts.
::drool::
Right on, call me a nerd...I LOVE IT.
God knows I love my teeshirts.
Alongside hat, of course.
Hat and teeshirts.
Plus jeans.
Heaven.
Maybe Java Hut.
I need the effing benjamin's.

Ok, Chani needs to be home NOW.
We need to make our lemonade/bake sale stand.
I cannot do that without her.
I mean, maybe I'll make the stand out of wood so it's ready but shit, even then...
And besides that, I'm like missing part of me...
that's not even counting my Zoolander DVD that is still in her posession.
It dinnertime over there...sheee-it.
See now that's pretty damn far.
And LONG.
Way to go to the other side of the freaking world, my friend.
Honestly, I miss her so much.
I don't know who to do silly stuff with anymore...
like dress up for no apparent reason and walk around town,
get lost in McDonald's Woods,
play Sultan's of Eqypt with,
eat rice with seaweed,
have tea parties...
pretty much rule the world.
July 26th dammit.
Totally not sure but I think that's the day of returning.
Oi.

I want to make my mom something really amazing. Something mindblowingly pretty and spectactular. But the problem is she's ALWAYS home. So I never have the opprotunity to work on this piece of mindblowing pretty and spectactular art. I have something in mind...but I have other ideas. I want to do them all and I want them to be just right. This is not something I'm going to slop up and hand to her (like I'd ever do that anyway...thankyou, damn perfectionist from dad). This is going to take a lot of time, but the more time I take on it, the more disappointed she'll be in me. It breaks my heart to disappoint her, if only she knew how much thought is going into this...So I'm still not going to rush my work- I'm just going to do my best to make it so phenomenal that she will be the opposite of disappointed in me and be very proud. I just want to make her happy, I want her to know how much she means to me and how special she is. If only she truly knew.

And when I'm finally done, I won't tell her how long it took me to make. I won't mention the possible tediousness of it or anything. I will simply tell her that it'd be impossible to measure the amount of love that went into that piece.

I'd do it over and over again just to see her face light up as she looks at what I view in my mind everytime I think of her. Because that's what art is-- what you picture in your mind and create with your hands.

I always love to look at art and wonder where they started, where their first stroke landed and what was going on in their mind when they made that particular piece. Or maybe there was no thought at all and it just flowed from them and it felt right so he or she continued.

I made a drawing. I didn't really think, I just drew whatever felt right at the time. It ended up being a shadowy figure staring at a snowy TV. There was a sunny, bright skied window in front of the person and a dreary, dark, and gray one behind them. There was also a rainy umbrella on the floor, as if the shadowy figure just escaped that dreary, dark, and gray. There is a crack in the middle, seperating the dark side from the bright side. On the dark side, there is a fly buzzing around. On the bright side, there is a butterfly on the shadow's knee and a robin in the window. There is a box that says "This side up- FRAGILE" on the floor, overflowing with packing peanuts. And then there is a silhouette of someone behind them, like a spirit of some sort. I don't know what all these objects mean necessarily but I do believe the shadowy figure is me- stuck between the bright and dark. In my mind, there is a projector showing a movie of a memory of love (in the drawing). And there it is...a drawing I drew because it just felt right.

Maybe I'll scan it on here one day. It's not mindblowing, but something felt achieved after drawing it. I dunno what it was but I just felt like I got something off my chest or something- like relief. It's a mystery how the mind and body work. I still don't understand it. I'll keep trying though.

Well, I best be hitting the ol' slumber pod. I hope I actually fall asleep when my head hits the pillow. I have a habit of getting into bed and then not sleeping. So I end up getting up and writing. By the time I get back to sleep again, it's later than before and I'm officially screwed for the next day. Lame how that works out, no?

YES.
But I really feel ready for bed. Time to tuck Jenny in!

I love
you
times a bajillion plus an infinity 9's (9xHope you caught thatx9)

(less than three!9) (less than three!9)

Jenny at 12:02 AM

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her smiling eyes
this is your cue. smile.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005 ::drools:: GLORIOUS (less than three!) (less than three!) I found just what I was looking for. A new teeshirt source. Oh yes, I am in love. I am estatic- these teeshirts are genius. EXPLOSION!! It just came to mind today, my hat. The infamous picture hat. Boy has it developed over the years. My sophomore year I started it. Every week I'd change the picture. Lately, I've been a little more laid back about it. Currently, I have an equal sticker- promoting equal rights, of course (not mathematics, you numero nerds) I have been meaning to change it to this sweet picture I made but whoopsies...it's been a while and I forgot how many pins I have on it now... 4x6 is a definate NO DICE. 3x5 would work nicer/neater. BUT, out of photo paper. Boo you whore. Beyond that, though, I am really proud of it. This hat defines me, you know? It's like my trademark now. It contains everything I like and then some. It changes as I change...it gets old as I get older...it's pretty much as apart of me as my arm. I wear it proudly...I broke it in...it just works for me. Who knew something as simple as a hat would make me so happy and define me so well? I love this - I really, truly do. I mean, sure, it's gotten in the way at times (if ya know what I mean- heh heh) but all the same...it's been there. It just works for me. I think I am gonna have this hat for a very long time. Wow, I can't believe I got all mushy over the hat...I feel kind of weird now but whatev. I do what I want. Well, I'm getting my people together to get boy's number. I didn't get a chance to ask for it the other night so I am relying on the chain of friends. I would really like to see him again. I don't know what this means. But I really do like him. I just hope, hope, hope I don't mess up this time. I just get scared sometimes because part of me is so afraid of commitment because I'm unexperienced but then again, part of me is so ready for it...like I've been born ready to love. I'm just torn between the two. I hope he likes me, too. Eeep...I'm like a little school girl... So my sleeping pattern is f'ed up. Two midnight rendezvous back to back. No good for the body clock. On the weekend, I'd get up at 2pm and go to bed at 3am. Then I'd do it again. It's hard to get out of the habit because that's the only way your body can rejuvenate. Today I made myself wake up at 11am. Tomorrow I'll try the same. I need to get back into my normal habit. Totally stupid reason to get a job but I think I am going to get one... just so I can have uber lots of money to buy all these new teeshirts. ::drool:: Right on, call me a nerd...I LOVE IT. God knows I love my teeshirts. Alongside hat, of course. Hat and teeshirts. Plus jeans. Heaven. Maybe Java Hut. I need the effing benjamin's. Ok, Chani needs to be home NOW. We need to make our lemonade/bake sale stand. I cannot do that without her. I mean, maybe I'll make the stand out of wood so it's ready but shit, even then... And besides that, I'm like missing part of me... that's not even counting my Zoolander DVD that is still in her posession. It dinnertime over there...sheee-it. See now that's pretty damn far. And LONG. Way to go to the other side of the freaking world, my friend. Honestly, I miss her so much. I don't know who to do silly stuff with anymore... like dress up for no apparent reason and walk around town, get lost in McDonald's Woods, play Sultan's of Eqypt with, eat rice with seaweed, have tea parties... pretty much rule the world. July 26th dammit. Totally not sure but I think that's the day of returning. Oi. I want to make my mom something really amazing. Something mindblowingly pretty and spectactular. But the problem is she's ALWAYS home. So I never have the opprotunity to work on this piece of mindblowing pretty and spectactular art. I have something in mind...but I have other ideas. I want to do them all and I want them to be just right. This is not something I'm going to slop up and hand to her (like I'd ever do that anyway...thankyou, damn perfectionist from dad). This is going to take a lot of time, but the more time I take on it, the more disappointed she'll be in me. It breaks my heart to disappoint her, if only she knew how much thought is going into this...So I'm still not going to rush my work- I'm just going to do my best to make it so phenomenal that she will be the opposite of disappointed in me and be very proud. I just want to make her happy, I want her to know how much she means to me and how special she is. If only she truly knew. And when I'm finally done, I won't tell her how long it took me to make. I won't mention the possible tediousness of it or anything. I will simply tell her that it'd be impossible to measure the amount of love that went into that piece. I'd do it over and over again just to see her face light up as she looks at what I view in my mind everytime I think of her. Because that's what art is-- what you picture in your mind and create with your hands. I always love to look at art and wonder where they started, where their first stroke landed and what was going on in their mind when they made that particular piece. Or maybe there was no thought at all and it just flowed from them and it felt right so he or she continued. I made a drawing. I didn't really think, I just drew whatever felt right at the time. It ended up being a shadowy figure staring at a snowy TV. There was a sunny, bright skied window in front of the person and a dreary, dark, and gray one behind them. There was also a rainy umbrella on the floor, as if the shadowy figure just escaped that dreary, dark, and gray. There is a crack in the middle, seperating the dark side from the bright side. On the dark side, there is a fly buzzing around. On the bright side, there is a butterfly on the shadow's knee and a robin in the window. There is a box that says "This side up- FRAGILE" on the floor, overflowing with packing peanuts. And then there is a silhouette of someone behind them, like a spirit of some sort. I don't know what all these objects mean necessarily but I do believe the shadowy figure is me- stuck between the bright and dark. In my mind, there is a projector showing a movie of a memory of love (in the drawing). And there it is...a drawing I drew because it just felt right. Maybe I'll scan it on here one day. It's not mindblowing, but something felt achieved after drawing it. I dunno what it was but I just felt like I got something off my chest or something- like relief. It's a mystery how the mind and body work. I still don't understand it. I'll keep trying though. Well, I best be hitting the ol' slumber pod. I hope I actually fall asleep when my head hits the pillow. I have a habit of getting into bed and then not sleeping. So I end up getting up and writing. By the time I get back to sleep again, it's later than before and I'm officially screwed for the next day. Lame how that works out, no? YES. But I really feel ready for bed. Time to tuck Jenny in! I love you times a bajillion plus an infinity 9's (9xHope you caught thatx9) (less than three!9) (less than three!9) Jenny at 12:02 AM Comments: Post a Comment
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