Her Smiling Eyes

Saturday, September 03, 2005

I really don't know how to explain how I'm feeling right now. I will do my best (as I have been on every other blog I have) but it's one of those things that comes about that's so wonderful but so undescribable.

Yet it's so wonderful, whatever it is. I won't question it. It's nice.

Check it out:

Yes. We even got bandanas to seal the hxc deal.

Life is good. Things are going to be ok. I feel so comfortable with myself and in life. I don't know why. It was just one of my many realizations today.

Keep on keepin' on, as they say. I can feel myself growing. I understand much more, life and myself personally.

I've done somethings that might have caused regret and humiliation if I were younger. I told someone my feelings even though I knew they wouldn't feel the same. Why did I do it? I didn't want to lie anymore. How do I feel now? Wonderful.

I spoke up not because I wanted something to become of this confession, but to merely get it off my chest. I can live happily with the fact that now she knows.

Mind you, I don't have that relief with everyone, unfortunately. But I'll let it be known within my own presence and privacy, "I love you more than you could ever imagine; In a way you could never love the same." It's for the best. It's for the best. It's for the best.

I'm moving in a forward motion, but I'm on a train with most of my past. But it's different because it's now. When the past is in the present, it's a whole different experience. Take two, if you will. And with some people, we are merely adding on to our friendship. It can only get better, because it's only been getting better so far. You're within reach and we are holding on. You may not be right here but then again, you are. You are always here.

I feel so good. And I want to go on an adventure tonight. Ugh...I miss my local outlets. Tonight is one of those nights that I'm in the mood to stay up all night and have an indepth discussion about life or philosophies, astronomy, memories...something. I want to go to some random destination and talk all night. Be it some park or an all-night diner in another town.

I feel so spontaneous right now, like I could just leave. Because I can, I have keys. I could just go somewhere, anywhere...and indulge in the newness of it. I could go for a roadtrip right now. Anywhere. I feel like I should go somewhere.

I probably would have went to Madison, if I wasn't going to arrive to a sleeping city.

I wish I went to the city tonight- Chicago I mean. I miss Brendan. We will make it work next time, I promise. I'd pick you up right now if I could.

I need something different- not that right now isn't good enough or anything, I just need something new. New people, new scenery, new everything. The old or current aren't going anywhere, I simply wish to expand.

My mind capacity is so open and broad right now, I feel like I can think about anything and everything and analyze it from every angle.

Life objective: Research and learn as many things as possible and understand everything the best I can.

I love you.

Time to get naked. (Late night shower time!)

Jenny at 11:44 PM

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her smiling eyes
this is your cue. smile.
Saturday, September 03, 2005 I really don't know how to explain how I'm feeling right now. I will do my best (as I have been on every other blog I have) but it's one of those things that comes about that's so wonderful but so undescribable. Yet it's so wonderful, whatever it is. I won't question it. It's nice. Check it out: Yes. We even got bandanas to seal the hxc deal. Life is good. Things are going to be ok. I feel so comfortable with myself and in life. I don't know why. It was just one of my many realizations today. Keep on keepin' on, as they say. I can feel myself growing. I understand much more, life and myself personally. I've done somethings that might have caused regret and humiliation if I were younger. I told someone my feelings even though I knew they wouldn't feel the same. Why did I do it? I didn't want to lie anymore. How do I feel now? Wonderful. I spoke up not because I wanted something to become of this confession, but to merely get it off my chest. I can live happily with the fact that now she knows. Mind you, I don't have that relief with everyone, unfortunately. But I'll let it be known within my own presence and privacy, "I love you more than you could ever imagine; In a way you could never love the same." It's for the best. It's for the best. It's for the best. I'm moving in a forward motion, but I'm on a train with most of my past. But it's different because it's now. When the past is in the present, it's a whole different experience. Take two, if you will. And with some people, we are merely adding on to our friendship. It can only get better, because it's only been getting better so far. You're within reach and we are holding on. You may not be right here but then again, you are. You are always here. I feel so good. And I want to go on an adventure tonight. Ugh...I miss my local outlets. Tonight is one of those nights that I'm in the mood to stay up all night and have an indepth discussion about life or philosophies, astronomy, memories...something. I want to go to some random destination and talk all night. Be it some park or an all-night diner in another town. I feel so spontaneous right now, like I could just leave. Because I can, I have keys. I could just go somewhere, anywhere...and indulge in the newness of it. I could go for a roadtrip right now. Anywhere. I feel like I should go somewhere. I probably would have went to Madison, if I wasn't going to arrive to a sleeping city. I wish I went to the city tonight- Chicago I mean. I miss Brendan. We will make it work next time, I promise. I'd pick you up right now if I could. I need something different- not that right now isn't good enough or anything, I just need something new. New people, new scenery, new everything. The old or current aren't going anywhere, I simply wish to expand. My mind capacity is so open and broad right now, I feel like I can think about anything and everything and analyze it from every angle. Life objective: Research and learn as many things as possible and understand everything the best I can. I love you. Time to get naked. (Late night shower time!) Jenny at 11:44 PM Comments: Post a Comment
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