Her Smiling Eyes

Saturday, December 31, 2005

Hiyo. I thought I'd update and what a better time than when I cannot sleep? I have a mad case of the hiccups (they've been reoccuring ALL day) that's keeping me awake. Who can sleep when their diaphragm is having a fit and a half?

But the cup is half-full, for at least I am not throwing up (I had terrible 24-hour flu the day after Christmas)
You just gotta think of things that way.
At least my food is staying down will all that ruckus down there.

So yea, I thought I'd pass the time by following the bandwagon of quizzes. Might as well. Do it if you want, or don't.
Dear Frankie is a wonderful movie and I recommend you all see it. I waited damn near two years for it to come out (I saw a special on it a few summers ago on IFC) and I must say, it was definately worth it. The movie must have made an impact on me if I remembered the name of it for two years, considering I can barely remember what I ate even three days ago. And when I finally saw it, I recieved the full impact beyond that little taste I got two years earlier. It was a lovely movie.

Break has been wonderful for me- just what I needed. I have been enjoying time spent with family, friends, and simply myself. I've lost myself in reading more than once, which is always a lovely feeling. I am very content with life now. There are things that still bother me that have bothered me before, but the difference now is that I don't let them get to me. I've just swept everything into the wind and let it fly freely to wherever it wanted to go or stay.

Not to be gross or anything but I think being so sick the day after Christmas had a lot to do with this revelation. This is actually going to be really gross so if you want to stop reading now, by all means do so. But if you are curious as to what I am going to say next, then read on. I will never know your decision.

When I got sick, I became really upset because it was just the day after Christmas and I was miserable. The Christmas joy wasn't able to carry on to the next day because I was too ill to get out of bed. I spent the early hours of the morning in the bathroom. I couldn't sleep. It seemed as though every hour I was waking up abruptly and going to the bathroom. I threw up more from 2am-8am that I ever did in my whole life. Eight times. EIGHT TIMES. I was freaking out thinking I was possessed or something. And I hate, hate, HATE throwing up. So when I realized there was a trend going on, every hour I seemed to be getting up to go to the toilet, I decided to make something up so it didn't seem so bad.

I told myself that I was ridding myself of all the regret, sad, painful feelings. Everything that came out was the negative in me. I pretended it was like a cleansing of some sort, even though it was against my will. It didn't make me want to throw up any more, but at least I had something positive to think about. And when I'd try to go back to sleep, I would tell myself it was all apart of getting rid of the bad feelings in me. Once it's over, I will feel better and be okay.

Well, after that day, I felt a lot better all around. I feel happier and more grateful for everything I have. I'm in a good mood more often than not these days and getting angry less. I just feel good, and it's not just that I'm better--I really feel fresh.

The only bad news to that story is that I still haven't completely recovered my appetite, so I've been eating very little. But slowly, it's coming back (my appetite) so I should be back to a normal diet in no time. Also, a majority of my family got the same bug as I had. It was still only 24-hours, though, so that is good and they are over it now.

There is still so much to do before break ends. I have a lot of people I still have yet to catch up with and also a book to finish.

I hope everyone is have a wonderful break and enjoying the holidays. I look forward to seeing most of you sometime soon and I hope you all remember how much I love you.

-Jen

Jenny at 3:56 AM

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her smiling eyes
this is your cue. smile.
Saturday, December 31, 2005 Hiyo. I thought I'd update and what a better time than when I cannot sleep? I have a mad case of the hiccups (they've been reoccuring ALL day) that's keeping me awake. Who can sleep when their diaphragm is having a fit and a half? But the cup is half-full, for at least I am not throwing up (I had terrible 24-hour flu the day after Christmas) You just gotta think of things that way. At least my food is staying down will all that ruckus down there. So yea, I thought I'd pass the time by following the bandwagon of quizzes. Might as well. Do it if you want, or don't. Dear Frankie is a wonderful movie and I recommend you all see it. I waited damn near two years for it to come out (I saw a special on it a few summers ago on IFC) and I must say, it was definately worth it. The movie must have made an impact on me if I remembered the name of it for two years, considering I can barely remember what I ate even three days ago. And when I finally saw it, I recieved the full impact beyond that little taste I got two years earlier. It was a lovely movie. Break has been wonderful for me- just what I needed. I have been enjoying time spent with family, friends, and simply myself. I've lost myself in reading more than once, which is always a lovely feeling. I am very content with life now. There are things that still bother me that have bothered me before, but the difference now is that I don't let them get to me. I've just swept everything into the wind and let it fly freely to wherever it wanted to go or stay. Not to be gross or anything but I think being so sick the day after Christmas had a lot to do with this revelation. This is actually going to be really gross so if you want to stop reading now, by all means do so. But if you are curious as to what I am going to say next, then read on. I will never know your decision. When I got sick, I became really upset because it was just the day after Christmas and I was miserable. The Christmas joy wasn't able to carry on to the next day because I was too ill to get out of bed. I spent the early hours of the morning in the bathroom. I couldn't sleep. It seemed as though every hour I was waking up abruptly and going to the bathroom. I threw up more from 2am-8am that I ever did in my whole life. Eight times. EIGHT TIMES. I was freaking out thinking I was possessed or something. And I hate, hate, HATE throwing up. So when I realized there was a trend going on, every hour I seemed to be getting up to go to the toilet, I decided to make something up so it didn't seem so bad. I told myself that I was ridding myself of all the regret, sad, painful feelings. Everything that came out was the negative in me. I pretended it was like a cleansing of some sort, even though it was against my will. It didn't make me want to throw up any more, but at least I had something positive to think about. And when I'd try to go back to sleep, I would tell myself it was all apart of getting rid of the bad feelings in me. Once it's over, I will feel better and be okay. Well, after that day, I felt a lot better all around. I feel happier and more grateful for everything I have. I'm in a good mood more often than not these days and getting angry less. I just feel good, and it's not just that I'm better--I really feel fresh. The only bad news to that story is that I still haven't completely recovered my appetite, so I've been eating very little. But slowly, it's coming back (my appetite) so I should be back to a normal diet in no time. Also, a majority of my family got the same bug as I had. It was still only 24-hours, though, so that is good and they are over it now. There is still so much to do before break ends. I have a lot of people I still have yet to catch up with and also a book to finish. I hope everyone is have a wonderful break and enjoying the holidays. I look forward to seeing most of you sometime soon and I hope you all remember how much I love you. -Jen Jenny at 3:56 AM Comments: Post a Comment
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