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part with me
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about me
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Alotta my pals say that I am pretty random, and i like to think out side of the box alot. Im pretty crazy but not in the straight jacket sorta way ya kno. I like to send letters to my friends cuz everyone likes to get real mail every once and a while. I also like to leave messages on answering machines. Those are a few joys in my life. Another joy in my life is my friends. They put happy into my life just being there. They are my favorite people and I would do anything for them. There are many other joys in my life such as my dog and writing. There are sum downs too but the good stuff makes up for it. Ya can't let the bad bring ya down too much bcuz then life gets a little harder everyday cuz its just bringin ya down. Movin on, Im kinda spastic and goofy and thats aways fun. I like to have fun and smile and have a good time. I'm never usually serious but sometimes I am when I write. Other than that, I usually am never serious cuz its just not me. It would just be weird. But hey I'm weird too and sponaneous so ya never know what to expect outta me I am just a firecracker that just never stops goin. Ya think the pop stops but no it keeps on goin. I can also be refered to as spark plug cuz i dunno i guess im sparky but okay. Thats about all the main stuff, you'll learn the rest in time.
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| her smiling eyes | ||
| this is your cue. smile. |
I'm going through this intense mood shift almost constantly
Sometimes I feel so empty, others I feel so full And sometimes I feel nothing, which doesn't seem as bad as empty but is no where near full Yet tonight I feel so alive--like the world is illuminated but it's only the electricity inside of me I feel like shocking everyone, just a surprise rececitation Because sometimes I wish someone would do that to me And if and when they do, I am ever so grateful This is what it's like to feel I've been going through this cycle in and out of feeling Negative, positive, nothing at all But every so often, someone rececitates me Today I saw my grampa In picture form, of course I only have so many pictures of him in my house And when I went to my grandma's, he was everywhere I was seeing him again in a new form At first it really shocked me because it's been so long Why we have all of his unhealthy pictures up at my house, I have no idea But today, I saw him healthy, and I remembered what it looked like I stopped right in my tracks And I remembered everything He was so healthy and happy My idol, my best friend His laugh, his smile His firm handshake and how he'd pull me in for a hug I remember, I remember I am so ashamed I almost forgot I just couldn't help it--it almost hurts to remember But I always told myself to remember no matter how much it hurts He's too special to forget I might as well forget myself, too, in that case Who I am And maybe that's why I'm so messed up I almost forgot who I was My roots, where I come from I almost completely got myself into the habit of no longer feeling because some things hurt too much But I have to suck it up because that's everything I am An array of molecules created to feel, oozing feelings Never forget Even if it hurts Or else you'd be forgetting so many people, so many things, everyone and everything I can't believe the person I almost ended up being A robot I am no robot Even if I have to cry in order to prove that I am alive, living, breathing, feeling And I will never forget again Jenny at 12:39 AM
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